


Burning Wings

by DelinquentDesire97



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cato/Marvel are background really, Dark, Fluff, M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1291303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelinquentDesire97/pseuds/DelinquentDesire97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slight AU. Peeta is chosen to attend a high school that specifically trains those who have been chosen to participate in the Hunger Games. Follows the trails and tribulations that he must face when confronted with enemies and the relentless conflicts that stem from his friends and inner emotions. Please R&R.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life of Tragic Normality

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction, so I hope you enjoy it. Caution it does include some non-consensual sex scenes.

Peeta P.O.V  
I woke up to the smell of freshly baked bread wafting around my room, I was sweating. The ovens in the bakery beneath me plus the driest and hottest summer we have had in years made my covers stick to my skin. I crawled out of bed scanning the room for a clean top; I picked up the pyjama shirt and quickly pulled it over my head. It was way too small and dark to be mine, I sighed it was definitely Rye’s. Rye was my older brother and a twin to Grayn, technically step brother. Where I was average in height and slightly muscular, they tower over me and are skinny as well. It doesn't take much to notice that were not blood related, I mean come on. In this family I stick out like a sore thumb. A child from my Dads previous marriage and a pain in the ass to my new “Mother”, I utter the word as I look at myself in the mirror. The word still felt foreign, I tried to accept her but never could, especially when she looks at me as though I am worthless. Less than worthless, mere shit. That’s it, out of place. I feel completely out of place.  
I grab another shirt and put it on sniffing the fabric to make sure it’s ok. It was slightly musty but not overpowering; I could get another day out of it at best. I look at myself in the mirror. I couldn't help but notice the flaws that crept into my mind. How I wish to be taller, muscular, that slightly more appealing. The only thing I found redeeming was my hair and eyes, they stood out, split me apart from the rest of my family. Blue and blonde to the brown and black.   
I revelled in silence just that bit longer, until the door swung open and I was harshly brought back to reality. There in the doorway stood “Mother” followed closely by Rye. She scowled glaring at me with those narrow calculating eyes “Glad to see your awake” her indignant tone begged to differ “make yourself useful and help him carry the sacks.” She flicked her wrist to punctuate her sentence, by him she meant Dad; I seriously had no idea what he had seen in her. He says he wanted me to have a “mother” figure in my life, there’s that revolting word again, I don’t know how many times I have to repeat it but bile is already rising in my throat. But she resembled more monster than maternal. Before she walked down the steps back into the bakery I shouted “Can I get some breakfast first?” I wasn't really asking but I knew she liked to feel as though she controlled every aspect of my life. I might make this day I bit easier by appeasing the bitch. She stopped the creak of the wooden floor coming to a sudden halt. I waited for her answer...”Fine” she muttered not even trying to hide her reluctance.  
Once I heard the shop bell ring, I could let out a long sigh, hopefully for the rest of the day she would be preoccupied with dealing with customers and not come to bother me. I walked out of my bedroom and onto the landing. Rye was waiting for me, he was the friendliest no not friendly, polite. Yeah the most polite twin, actually able to grasp the normal social graces of family life. “Hello, Good morning” his voice was completely monotone, I nodded in recognition, the conversation ended as soon as it begun “goodbye”. All I could do was stare at his back as he rushed back to Helena (please don’t make me repeat “Mother” again). I know I just sighed but I had to do it again, this wasn’t a family it was more like, like a gathering a people who help each other out to survive. Sadly, the only word that comes to mind is colony. A colony of ants. Helen as our Queen. Ruling through fear and the child’s obligation to their “Mother” (for God sake I hate that word).  
I head to the bathroom, the prospect of a warm shower immediately cheering me up. You can’t beat warm water running down your skin to make you feel refreshed in a humid morning like this one. I turn on the water. You can practically hear it working its way through the rusty pipes. There was a hollow rattle before a trickle turned into a gushing jet of pure cold. I held my hand underneath the stream, waiting for the cold to turn hot. As I child I remember that I used to believe that I thought my hand changed the temperature of the water like magic. I started grinning like a fool, how naive I was. I stripped off. I opened the window to stop the room from steaming, I checked the clock on the wall it was 10:45 normally she didn’t like anyone getting showered after 10:30. This would have to be quick.   
I stepped into the warm cascade, the amazing feeling of cleanliness and bliss creeping through my entire body. I couldn't help but let my hands roam, imagining that another person was touching me, a beautiful man. Uh um I mean woman, blue eyes just like myself. It, he, she had blonde hair softer and purer than mine. I grabbed in-between my legs stroking over and over the euphoric feel of ecstasy tugging a groan out of my body. The bliss was only short. I stopped panting; my shoulders slumped over in exhaustion. Looking up at the wall, the white tiles they almost had a clinical feel to them no patterns, no pictures. Ironic really I always felt like a tumor to this family. A life sucking, soul destroying tumour. I scrubbed myself and stepped out the shower. I dried quickly in the summer heat that circulated in the room from the window.  
I made my way downstairs, as my feet touched the floor of the hallway. She bolted out from the shop front and made a bee line from where I was perched on the bottom step putting my shoes on. She grabbed me by the collar of my shirt pushing me back against the stairs; I was propped up against my elbows to stop my head slamming against the steps behind me. She grabbed a lock of my hair twiddling it between her fingers “Well, thank you Princess Peeta for finishing pampering so early and coming into the presence of us peasants” I didn’t even have to read between the lines her voice was laced with sarcasm although it was short lived “looks like you picked hygiene over hunger. You've missed your chance for breakfast, now hurry up and start working.” She practically threw me against the banister, a small wince of pain escaping from my pursed lips. She walked back to her work, not before I could spot the smirk (at my pain I presume) in the reflection of the door’s window pane. Such a bitch.  
I wandered into the kitchen pulling the apron straps around my neck and tying them around my waist. I went over to the work bench, cracking my knuckles knowing that a long day of kneading was ahead of me. I grabbed the fresh batch of dough, and started to work my hands repeatedly through the stretchy substance. Half way through taking out my anger on the mess that clung to my fingers Dad walked in. Ever since he married she-devil his personality was more reserved, I placed my hands jolting him out of his haze. His hair had become wild and uncontrolled, so much that his eyes were barely visible behind the scruff that hung over his face. He still managed to smile but only barely.


	2. Growing up in Prestige

**Cato P.O.V**

I woke up completely naked again, the silk sheets covering my manhood. Another night, another girl. I think her name was Ellie, no not Ellie...Tiffany yeah definitely Tiffany. I met her last night when I went out with Marvel; we hit it off and just add 2 and 2 together. I yawned, the blinds still closed, I reached over to the bedside table knocking the condom wrapper in the futile attempt to grab the remote. I rolled my eyes leaning over to pick up the foil casing and put it in the bin. That was the only thing wrong with sex, don’t get me wrong I enjoy it but it’s the clean up afterwards. First I have to put a layer on when we’re doing it which completely wrecks the moment and then I’ve got to get rid of the evidence as well.

Finally, I have the remote I love his thing with one push of a button the blinds open, with another the air con buzzes into life and finally the flat screen comes on. I’m not lazy it’s just who can be arsed to get up when you can do it from the comfort of your own bed. I lean against my headboard, pushing the pillows behind my back to stop the cold leather touching my skin. I start watching cartoons, what can I say; I’m a sucker for mind-numbing entertainment. After what I guess is about five minutes I turn it off. Sliding my legs out of bed I stand up, the cool air making me break out in goose bumps. I’ve got to say the draft gets me fucking turned on. I go into the en suite (it’s not my problem that I don’t like sharing a bathroom, mainly because everyone takes fucking ages for some reason. I mean how big can a shit be!).

I stand in the middle of the bathroom raking a hand through my hair as I look at my expression staring back at me. I ‘m hunched over the sink, washing my face of the night before. Not to blow my own trumpet but I look fucking hot today. I stand up straight; I’m tall at 6 foot 5 and muscular as well. I’m not vain. Well fine maybe I am flexing my muscles in self-appreciation. I’d like to say that I’m like everyone else in this district but I’m just not. I am far superior. I have one thing in common with my fellow District 2. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I don’t mind though I think I still pull off the look better than most others. 

I walk out the bathroom, grabbing a pair of fresh boxers from my drawers. I look at the clock by the door; it’s already 10:00. I put on some clothes and head downstairs. The whole family sit round the table; I sit down opposite my Dad. Without even looking up from his paper he asks “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” I knew the question was rhetorical but I still answered “Yes.” He peered over the top of his newspaper “Yes?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Good, as long as it doesn’t affect anything else,” I’d make this mistake before, he paused waiting for my interruption, I kept quite I knew he hadn’t finished speaking yet “remember Cato finals are next week you need to secure a place at Icarus if you want to be reaped for the Games next year.”

Icarus was the new school of the Capitol it fast tracked model students out of the Districts so they could participate in The Huger Games next year. It was partly founded to pacify the surrounding districts worries that 1 and 2 were at a big advantage to the others. It was only opened last year, you didn’t have to be gifted academically nor physically but it didn’t hurt to be both. I nodded in agreement the less I spoke the less he would harp on about it. I was confident in my ability nothing could stop me now.

~xXx~

I walked out of the classroom, Marvel in tow. “What do you think Cato? Why do tests have to be so hard? Do you reckon you’ve passed?” his voice was exasperated and tired, “I pulled an all-nighter trying to cram everything.” There was only problem with Marvel you couldn’t get one word in edge ways when he started speaking and I don’t know if it’s an actual medical problem but he has got the worst case of verbal diarrhoea I’ve ever seen. We walked down to the school gym. I come here every day. The most important for thing for me was, me, making sure I’m in peak condition at all times.  As we got changed and I walked up to the dumbbell’s Glimmer spotted us and ran over “OMG how hard was that test, I mean seriously what are we going to use Pythagoras for in the future anyway. Oh yeah nothing. BTW I have something amazing to tell you I was sitting…” Scratch what I thought Marvel’s the second worst case of verbal diarrhoea. She rambled on for a good fifteen minutes, before Marvel interrupted her “Cato you didn’t answer my question before. Do you reckon you’ve passed?” he looked at me waiting. Finally I replied “Yeah it wasn’t that hard,” they both looked at me there jaws practically hitting the floor. They regained their composure and then started bowing, pretending to worship me as their test God which caused uproar of laughter and some unwanted attention from others. I’ve got to say being worshiped felt pretty good.

We left the gym pretty early and got into my convertible. I got my driving licensed about a year ago now. Usually, I got picked up and chauffeured around like the rest of the District 1 and 2 children, but being the son of a previous victor has its bonuses fast cars; expensive house and best of all the right of claiming. Claiming was a process afforded to those who lived a certain life of luxury. The opportunity is given to us by the District Mayor and the Capitol’s President Snow. Some people call it barbaric and outdated but for us it’s a way of upholding tradition and to ensure a great future for those deemed worthy. All in all it was pretty amazing. I rolled down the rooftop and drove to Glimmer’s she was like me and Marvel. Her Mother being a previous victor and Marvel’s Dad won The Games. I then drove to mine. Marvel and I were next door neighbours; if by next door you mean acres of land between our houses then yeah we were next door. I pulled up outside and handed my car keys to the valet. We ran over to the quad bikes like little kids, excitement making me run so fast it left Marvel in the dust. As I was about to take off, just as my name was called “Cato, Cato are you there?” I turned round and Lily my little sister stood leaning against the door.

“Yeah!”

“Someone’s here to see you!”

“Who is it?”

“It’s me,” Clove stood in the doorway waving to us. I smiled back Clove and I have been best friends since I can remember. Her Dad isn’t a victor but he is a sponsor of The Games earning more money in a month that most people earn in a year. She ran over joining us to the quad bikes. We had a race to Marvel’s house, adrenaline coursing through my veins and wind whipping through my hair I couldn’t help but laugh. The feeling of being free was exhilarating. When we arrived at Marvels house I couldn’t help but gloat. I had won it was a tight race but no one could beat me, Clove shook her head in defeat even as kids we were competitive. Marvel punched me in the arm, quickly running away. He jumped out of his skin; I don’t think he thought I would chase him. I have to admit he can be fast when he wants to be, he ran up the stairs to his bedroom. I caught him barely because he couldn’t open the door fast enough.

Clove could be heard walking up the stairs, the loud ‘thunk’ of her boots on the wooden steps, she started to giggle at the futility of Marvel trying to escape from the iron headlock, that I had him in. I motioned to the door with my head, Clove opened it for me and I threw Marvel on to the bed. As he was about to get up I sat on his back pinning him between myself and his mattress. He let out a strained whine as he tried to push me off, “I’ll let you go if you say I win,” he snarled at me “and if you let me punch you in the arm.”

“Fine” he said hesitantly admitting his defeat. I stood up; you could hear his deep breaths from the obvious lack of oxygen. I punched him as soon as he sat up, making him bury his face in his pillow once again. Clove and I laughed at his obvious pain; he rubbed his arm for the good part of an hour.

 


	3. Broken Normality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first ever fanfic!

**Peeta P.O.V**

I got dressed in my uniform I was attending a local school in the community. Helen thought it was a waste of time that I should be helping out of the bakery and on most mornings Dad was still in a drunken haze that I bet he doesn’t even know I attend. I am ready in a flash, happy to be out of this shitty house for a while. I practically run to the door snatching a roll as I run out the door. It only takes me a couple minutes for me to get there. As I arrive I am greeted by big smiles from Katniss and Gale. They officially became an item about 2 months ago now I was happy for them both. I smiled at them, she quickly embraced me. A high pitched squeal escaping from her mouth “I felt like I haven’t seen you in ages”

“Katniss you seen me just yesterday when I was at the Hob”

“I know but that’s when it was our job. I mean see you, see you like as friends”

“Yeah I guess,” I turn to Gale “Hey.”

“Hi” a man of few words as always. He places his hand on my head and ruffles my hair, smirking because he knows the gesture makes me feel small. They link their arms and start walking into school, I walk behind them one to give them some personal space and two of course to have a look at Gales *cough* Katniss’ tasty ass. What if I can’t touch I’m sure as hell am going to look.

 It was exam day today, we had been on study leave for the past month and I was really surprised at myself. In my spare time I had managed to keep to revising when I wasn’t helping out in the bakery. I was completely confident; it was a refreshing change to be honest. I sat down on the chair at the back of the class, pushing my bag between the wall and my desk. A gruelling five minutes of gradually building anxiety had passed, by the time the examiner walked in and begin to hand out the test I was a sweating bag of nerves. As the time hit 9:15 the teacher finally spoke “You can now begin.” I opened the paper; slapping myself in the process you can do this.

~xXx~

I finally stepped out of the classroom my bag slung over one shoulder I wiped my matted hair from my face. Katniss and Gale were already waiting for me “What took you so long? I’ve been waiting here for ages” she stressed out the last word, obviously she was annoyed.

“Sorry” I replied placing my hand on the back of my neck, one of many nervous twitches “the examiner was late.”

“It’s okay, I was just wondering” her anger even though trivial was completely diffused. We made our way to the exit, “Well see you on results day”

“We’ll see you before then won’t we?”

“Yeah probably come to the bakery whenever, I’ll give you a discount.” We couldn’t help but laugh. Why? We both know that Helen would never do anything remotely charitable, more so over money. I waved goodbye one last time and started walking to the bakery, I took a shortcut through The Hob which cut a good 5 minutes of the journey. I turned right, finally on the straight and narrow coming into the range of the tantalising smells of warm bread. I was too occupied by the delectable aroma to notice the hand that hit me on the cheek and sent me rocketing to the floor. I turned and scowled at the source of my hurt, only to internally wither away at those tempestuous, condescending eyes. It was Helen. She was 5 foot nothing but in this position she was a giantess.

 I stood up quickly, the blood rushing to my head causing a slight stumble. She exploited this momentarily lapse in my defence and doled out another loud smack to the opposite cheek, forcing me to soften my fall with my hands, her wedding ring imprinted on my face. I scanned my surroundings how convenient that every bystander pretended not to notice, I cowered as she lowered her head to my eye level. Why the hell did I cower? She spoke her harsh words “What the fuck are you doing here?” my cheeks ached and throbbed in embarrassment at her public display of vindication “Did I say you could leave this morning? No. I should have put you in a home when I got married to that bumbling bastard. I don’t know why you weren’t aborted, I mean **come** on.” She stressed the last sentence making her distaste of me apparent, my eyes started to sting. Please don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry. Don’t show her your weakness, yet she continued “You’re a no good, fucking waste of space. One more fucking mouth to feed, I can’t wait ‘til he dies,” pointing her wrinkle finger at the bakery” I’ll get everything, the bakery, the money and if he packs up soon I’ll have custody of you. Peeta.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore; the tears rolled down my cheeks like little pearls and fell to the floor staining the ground with their salty clarity. I ran as fast as I could, the high pitched cackle of Helen resounding in my head.

I stayed silent curled up in the foetal position on my bed, the door was locked and the dam finally busted on my restrained tears. I body shook as my pent up anguish and anger flooded out onto my pillow. Finally after what seemed like hours my emotionally drained body fell asleep, my eyelids heavy like the suffocating emotion of anguish.

 


	4. Family Disruption and Friends Repercussions

**C P.O.V**

Days turned into weeks as we revelled in the new found glory of graduation. Marvel, Clove, Glimmer and I filled the days that turned into weeks with childish antics. Until, it was the day before results day, we all sat on the beach behind Glimmer’s house our feet in the ocean waves that lapped against the golden shore. The sunset was mesmerizing so much that we didn’t realise what time it was when Clove fell asleep both of her arms curled around my bicep. I slowly removed my hand until she slumped against the sand, I froze but she didn’t wake, the last thing I wanted was a disgruntled Clove on my hands. I picked her up bridal style and carried her to my car. I waved to Marvel and pointed to my car. He shook his head “Looks like I’m staying here tonight” Glimmer was physically lulling on Marvel her whole body keeping him rooted to the spot in the attempt to not wake her up, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn. The ride home was mostly uneventful, I turned on the radio and adjusted the volume to a low level so Clove wouldn’t wake up, we arrived at the house in no time. I picked Clove up and placed her on my back so I could open the door, I opened and shut it slowly and headed towards the stairs. As I reached the landing, I jumped as Lily materialised from the darkness “Here I’ll help you put her in the guest room.”

“Don’t do that!”

“Don’t do what?” she replied rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands innocently.

I smiled at her “Nothing,” she was barely 12 and the cutest thing ever. I placed Clove on the mattress and pulled the cover up to her neck. I place a kiss on her forehead and repeated the action with Lily. This was one part of my Achilles heel, I was protective to those who mattered to me most, and they were my pack, my responsibility, my greatest treasure. I ushered Lily into her room then collapsed on my own bed, grabbing the remote I shut the blinds and turned off the lights, the summer was great while it lasted.

~xXx~

I woke to the sound of my phone reverberating across the entirety of the bedside table; I ignored the constant buzzing and tried to lull myself back to sleep. It happened twice more, once was reasonable but the second time had me cursing at the glowing screen. Marvel’s name appeared it was 8:00 am, why the fuck was he contacting me at this hour? I slid my finger across the screen rashly, my motivation to read the text fuelled by my festering anger. It was soon alleviated as I scanned Marvels message, finally today was the day we got our results.

I couldn’t help but get up, my body groaned in opposition but my apprehensive demeanour spurred me to the bathroom, I knew that if I was going to get through this day I had to get a shower first. I was in and out before the clock turned 8:15. I picked up my phone and called Marvel, I wasn’t that surprised when he picked up straight away “Hello sleepy head”

I grunted “Why the fuck did you wake me up?”

“Its results day!”

“I know that but why this fucking early, I thought we agreed to meet at 11?”

“We did, I just thought you’d be excited as I am,” I could feel his puppy dog eyes through the screen.

I let out a sigh of defeat “Clove and I will be over in a sec”

My reply was met with a sly giggle followed by another high pitched chuckle “I guess you’re still with Glimmer”

“Yeah, we’ve already had breakfast. Don’t bother knocking when you come over just come to my bedroom.” I couldn’t respond before the call ended, he’s getting on my nerves again. No one and I mean no one puts the phone down on Cato Hadley. I vented my anger out on the stairs each thunderous step alerting everyone to my presence, I passed the servants room and headed to the kitchen, even though we had so many people on hand to cater to our every whim, Mom still decided that she wanted to do things that contributed to our lives, even if that was just making breakfast. I entered to Cloves beaming face “Not you as well”

“What? I don’t know what you’re on about, I’m just excited.”

“That’s what I mean, Marvel and Glimmer just rang we’re meeting them in an hour.”

I approached the table when I was suddenly startled by a firm grasp on my shoulder “Nice to finally see you, Cato,” the conversation between Clove and I finished abruptly as I could tell Father demanded my full attention “do you mind not breaking every step down the stairs.” I gulped he was the only person to make me feel so powerless, his calloused fist was clenched behind my back and I could feel the aura of rage seep through his composed facade, he wouldn’t embarrass me in front of friends but I sure as hell wasn’t looking forward until later.

I finished my breakfast in record time, averting my Father’s gaze as his eyes bored in to my skull. It was a few minutes before I was joined by Clove in my bedroom. I rested my hands upon my knees my head hanging between my shoulders, she spoke soothingly trying to calm my nerves “It’s okay just try and concentrate on getting ready,” she was the only one to see my weakened stat besides Lily, she spotted the bruising when I was younger, I shrugged it off as battle wounds but she always knew. “Thanks Clove,” I tried to brush her hand away but she recoiled as I practically swatted it in my shaken state, I eyed her but he was the same merely the supportive, childhood friend and I thanked her for it.

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Weight of an unwanted expectation

 

**Peeta P.O.V**

For the rest of my summer, I evaded Helen out of fear and to be honest I couldn’t withstand one more emotional turmoil. She loved doing this breaking me down and down until an empty shell remained. The tracks of my tears were all that were left physically but the repercussions affected me more than the pain that cracked my voice. The Hob now became the graveyard for my dignity, everyone seen my weakness, I was one big walking target. I kept my sentences short and eye contact shorter, all I needed was some squirrels from Gale. Just some squirrels. I secretly hoped as I neared their stall that Katniss wouldn’t be there, even though she was a close friend she asked too many questions that I know I won’t be able, let alone willing to answer.  I walked in between stalls cutting corners and future confrontations, I appeared out of the other side a few steps from where Gale stood, he noticed me straight away my sandy hair among the common brunettes. I sighed hoping that I wouldn’t be noticed until we were face to face, now I had to walk up to him knowing that in those inconsequential moments I would feel his waves of pity that would create more tears and a self-hate that would tear me apart.

“...”Gale stayed silent and by my face, I think he got that I thanked him for it. I walked away weaving my way through the onslaught of whispers and rumours, the only lingering presence I completely felt was the harmless yet patronising sympathy of the man I had just left and the girl that blocked my way. “Tch” the small sound was barely detectable an underlying noise that the ears of the huntress could only pick up, unfortunately. She grabbed my arm and dragged me threw The Hob and as soon as we alone her whispered shouts bombarded my ears

“What happened to you? I mean I know what happened but I want you to tell me. Are you okay? No one has seen you since, you’ve had m-“

I clasped my hand around her mouth, yet she still talked her face moving as her lips moved behind my hand. After she had finally returned to a somewhat peaceful state, I let her lips go. She looked at me expectantly and as usual I caved in to her pressure

“If you know what happened there’s nothing more to tell. I’m fine now and yes I am sorry for making you worried but can you please forgive me” I clasped one of her hands in both of mine, praying desperately that she got the message that I wanted some privacy. She nodded although unconvincingly, but she simply kissed me on the cheek and stormed off back into Gales arms. I slowly traced the place where she kissed my cheek, directly over the ring imprint I’m sure under any other circumstance I would have blushed but I felt nothing no spark, no unrequited love, just plain, old friendship. I guess she was like a sister and I guess she wasn’t the one for me.

~xXx~

I met Katniss and Gale outside school just like I promised; luckily Helen gave me her permission. I asked her because I didn’t want another scene in front of everyone. I had barely got over her last psychotic slap fest and I didn’t want to be booked in for anymore. Everything was back to normal, Katniss hugged me and Gale ruffled my already messy hair. I can safely say this is the happiest I have been in days, what would make it all better is getting at least decent grades. Come on, someone owes me at least a little bit of joy.

We walked to the front desk, giving our names and signing sheets to confirm we have picked them up. As always my signature looks like a pen just threw up with the amount of unnecessary lines that went beyond the point of an obsession with curls. Our hands made us fumble with the sheets that were clasped in our hands, the unravelling prolonged by apprehension-induced shaking. All pieces of paper opened simultaneously with a satisfying crinkle. I looked at my grades. I was surprised, completely speechless; Katniss grabbed my arm, obviously fearful for my life as I unwillingly ceased all breathing. She ripped the paper out of my grip following my marks with her index finger to check that I wasn’t and she wasn’t second guessing the results

“Peeta, tha-that’s amazing!! I’m so happy for you,” Katniss rapped her arms around my chest squeezing the last drop of air out of my lungs

“Why what did he get?” I turned to Gale that was the second time today that I was astonished. First, results and now he had spoken. Katniss turned to Gale, her smile bigger than my own

“He got full marks.”

~xXx~

I was enjoying my life after that, the horrendous episode of studying and family oppression finally finished. I had more time to go out with Katniss, Gale and I even managed to decorate all the cakes in the shop, the patterns becoming increasingly intricate as time progressed. Helen became less involved with daily affairs plus Rye and Grayn were so consumed by their own envy, that they became indignant, their failures reiterating the fact that we weren’t blood related.

I stood in the back of the bakery delicately and tactfully creating complex designs of neon flowers. The door bell rang and was immediately followed by a collective gasp of Helen and the customers. I scurried to the shop front, where there was a man shy of 6 foot 10 stood in the doorway at the threshold of the property. He was ushered in by my Dad who had miraculously gained clarity for a brief period. His voice was commanding and powerful, everyone’s eyes gravitated towards him as he spoke

“As a representative of President Snow of the Capitol, I Kadus the 4th formally invite Peeta Mellark to the prestigious Icarus Academy. You shall learn and succeed in every area and in return become a future victor that upholds peace and Capitol values.”

I couldn’t help but snigger at the proposition who would actually want to become a victor, I replied as swift as he proposed “Erm, Kadus sorry to say but I’m not going to any Academy in the Capitol. I don’t want to become a future victor, I don’t want to kill anybody and I especially don’t want to be exposed to anything that would result in a quick demise”

“Oh so you must be Peeta Mellark,” his outstretched hand took mine that had previously hung limply at the sides of my body, he just completely ignored me “but I’m sorry to inform you that I wasn’t asking, I was simply telling you. You have already been enrolled the train leaves in about an hour as your placement starts next week. Ahh and yes two more things I will take a box full of those wonderful cakes and I’ve already had to gag one of your friends don’t make me do it to you as well.” He snapped his excessively large fingers to state his point, the small room was flooded with Peace Keepers. What the fuck have I got myself into?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to those who have followed this fic. Of course as always I greatly appreciate reviews and criticism. Well once again thank-you.


	6. The Immediacy of an Emotional Spectrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A.N: Thank you again for reading this, as you can most probably tell this is my first fanfic and I hope I’m doing an okay-ish job. Finally, we head to Icarus I suspect in the next two chapters Peeta and Cato will finally meet or at least see each other. Oh, BTW WARNING in this chapter slight smut and sadly I don’t own the rights to Hunger Games, everything goes to S. Collins. :)

**Cato  P.O.V**

My shaking finally calmed down to a mild tremor in my hands, I managed to get dressed; changed and quickly say goodbye before I received an answer and seen him for another time this morning. We jumped in the convertible and made our way to Marvel, as per usual Clove wanted the roof open and windows down with the radio on full blast, swear to God if I become fucking deaf when I’m older I’m going to kill her. It literally took less than 15 minutes to get to Glimmer’s, I beeped the horn twice and Marvel came running out all giddy and incredibly annoying, Glimmer followed shortly in dressed all in pink, she looked like fucking candy floss. High heels, short dress and frilly bow in her hair, Glimmer wasn’t the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen but she plays it up so much she looks like a capitol slut. All innocent on the outside but a complete vixen on the in.

She stepped into the car taking the seat behind me; I looked in the mirror and saw Marvel’s eyes burning a hole in her boobs. His cheeks were the same colour as Glimmer’s dress it wasn’t hard to figure out what they did last night. Glimmer and Marvel don’t have particular tastes they fuck anything that moves really, how do I know? Well whenever Marvel gets drunk he practically sees every glare towards him as an invitation for sex. I will give him his due; he’s fucking good at giving blow jobs. It takes about 25 minutes to get to school from Glimmer’s considering we have to go back past mine and Marvel’s house. The roads were pretty clear considering there was still two days of summer left for everyone else, it was pretty relaxing driving through the winding roads of the Districts. Clove was glazed in that dream like state I’ve become all too familiar with and the music acted as background fodder to make the journey go faster.

When I finally snapped back to reality, I could hear breathy incoherent moans over the surrounding noise. I checked my mirror and seen in the back Glimmer and Marvel making out. Marvel was massaging her boobs while she palmed his erection through the fabric of shorts. I looked down at how much fuel we had left, what the hell I need to fill up anyway. The gas station was about 5 minutes before school, I pulled in and handed my keys over to Clove, she raised her eyebrow questioningly

“Can you fill her up while I break these two ‘love birds’ up,” I motioned to the back seats with my thumb; Clove rolled her eyes in disgust at the scene before her.

“Sure, just hurry up,” she spun the keys around her finger “I won’t be able to spend long with a horny Glimmer. She’s already whiny as it is.”

I silently thanked her and made my way over to Marvel pulling him out of the car and dragging him towards the toilets “Glimmer out as well, I don’t want my back seats getting fucking wet just because you wanted a quick shag” they both were too worked up to argue back and just did as I said, it makes everything easier when their obedient. I brought Marvel to the toilets at the back of the gas station, they were surprisingly clean and as soon as we made it past the door he pulled his arm out of my grip with surprising strength

“What the fuck dude? We wouldn’t have made a mess!” his eyes contradicted his anger. The only thing I saw in those green orbs was the yearn for release. I marched onward causing him to stumble against the back of the wall, I pushed against his knees with my own forcing his legs open, and rubbed my thigh between his legs the friction making him unravel in my hands. He pushed me off him and grabbed my hands leading me to the unoccupied stalls in the back. Once we were both inside, he pushed the toilet seat down and sat on top of it, quickly undoing his zip his 7 inch cock sprung into life. He hissed at the relief in pressure, looking up at me he whispered

“Can I please you,” his voice was hushed “Sir.” Shit, I hated when he used my own lust against me the submissive role he had taken hastened my hands, my zip undone like lightning my dick unsheathed and resting in front of Marvels mouth. His hot breath glided across the tip, my restraint wavered. He followed the pinkness of the slit with his index finger. The cloudy white droplet of precum held in front of me before being pressed against his tongue. I swallowed as he savoured the taste; he grabbed my dick the harsh cold making my erect nipples appear through the green cotton shirt. He placed his mouth around the head before gradually making his way to the hilt, he didn’t gag once. He remained there vibrating the back of his throat as he sniffed my underwear that encased it. He pulled away the loss of heat nearly making me mewl in desperation. He popped the button of my blue shorts, and proceeded to drag both my underpants and shorts to the ground. My dick was at 8 inches hanging stiffly in the cool air of the cubicle. Only a few people saw the maximum girth if they got me going.

Marvel resumed his oral masterpiece, licking, massaging, vibrating. With one long rub and sharp tug on my balls, I shouted “Marvel” I tugged at his hair, as I came into his mouth. He swallowed as much as he could a few streams trickling down his chin. He took his mouth away, my dick resting on his cheek. I put my hand under his chin tilting his face towards mine. He looked at me anxiously wondering if he did something wrong, that was like Marvel always aiming to please. I licked my cum off his face, oh fuck did I taste good and headed to his ear nibbling seductively before speaking

“You did good babe,” I felt him slowly relax “but it looks like your still cravin’ something.” He nodded his head in reply his mouth still too sore too speak. I smiled “Marv,” I bit his ear one last time “just this once.” He gulped, I told him to stand up so we could switch places, I pulled my clothes back on and sat on the toilet seat. I was face to face with his manhood, the colour of his cheeks were red with waiting. “Hands behind your back” he listened quickly taking position, I wiggled my finger “and no touching okay.” I smelled the tip, he was saltier and smaller by a couple inches than me but it was still enticing. I traced a vein from his balls up the length of his foreskin, eliciting a moan. My hands pulled down his pants, so I could grab his cheeks; he squeezed them underneath my hands in appreciation. I tugged once or twice before sucking, but what clinched the victory was my unexpected middle finger that thrust into his ass. I caught all the cum in my cheeks swilling it to remember the taste. I stood up so I was towering over him, I cradled the back of his head and kissed him, pushing all the cum into his mouth. He melted in the arms and took every last drop hungrily. He smiled pleased that he finally got his sought after climax. I walked up to the car, Marvel exiting 2 minutes later. Glimmer as usual was not pleased that she had to wait

“Where have you been?” I completely ignored her and jumped into the driver’s seat, forcing Marvel to answer

“Sorry, I had something at the back of my throat.” That fucking witty bastard.

~xXx~

School was packed with former students, none who were particularly recognisable but students all the same. We signed our names and took our results, we all got into Icarus just like we expected, I barely had time to read my score when Marvel snatched the piece of paper “So, what did you get Test God? Mister I’m-sooo-superior,” I shrugged nonchalantly “oh, not bothered are we,” he peered at the paper watching my moves out of the corner of my eye “fucking show off!”

Clove joined him in reading the grade, her face practically beaming “Full Marks!”

~xXx~

I returned home, a smile fitting yet begrudgingly plastered on my face. Balloons and the remnants of party poppers littered around the hall of the house. We all sat at the table eating and drinking merrily, ending with a gathering and a toast between servants; friends and family alike “Congratulations” echoed through the rooms. We must have partied for a good few hours and it would have done for a few more but it ended rather abruptly when Father entered. He patted my back and made his way to Mom kissing her on the cheek and taking a glass of champagne off the table “Cheers! To all of you!” I smiled back waiting for the ‘but’ to come from his mouth, however he made his way over to me whispering in my ear “Don’t think I’ve forgot about this morning kiddo, you know I don’t like when my kids are disrespectful now, do you?”  Now the party was over “either we can get it out of the way now or just before you leave. It’s up to you though.”

I stood up silently my true emotions of vulnerability concealed behind my exterior, luckily Marvel and Glimmer were none the wiser whereas Clove caught on straight away she ushered them out of the house quickly. The bickering and squabbling dulled by the aura of my Father that stood at the foot of my bedroom door. I passed him, monitoring my actions as though not to rile him anymore. I stood in the centre of my room, self-consciousness setting in. He circled me like a shark hunting its prey, for the umpteenth time I felt that unnerving feeling of being stalked like predator. His teeth were bared and fists trembled in rage.

After what seemed like forever he sat down on my bed, I shouted yes victoriously in my head, he was in one of his good moods. He threaded his fingers through his head pushing his hair away from his face. He patted the bed next to him, hesitantly I perched next to him he spoke his voice disturbingly calm

“When will you learn Cato? You know disrespect among many other things I don’t tolerate in this house. Lily got it straight away, she never crossed the line, she never angered me. So why do you?” I stayed quiet my head bowed in defeat “I asked you a question, son.”

“I don’t know Father.”

“Is that all you have to say for yourself. I don’t know. You’re a role model to your younger sister, you are going to Icarus to represent the Hadley family and do you think I don’t know is going to cut it.” I curled in on myself and backed away slowly but surely, clinging on to the hope that he’d let me off this one time.

“You know the deal Cato,” I looked at him pleadingly “strip Cato! Come on I haven’t got all night.” I sighed pulling my pants down; he pulled me over his knees and started smacking my ass. Each slap adding to the redness that would ache in the morning, my boxers lessened some of the pain but I stayed resolute in front of my Father

“Obviously this isn’t working properly” I looked at him slightly confused “Cato take these off as well.” He fingered the material of the boxers between his thumb and index finger; I looked at him in fright shaking my head in futile refusal “Excuse me Cato! Are you seriously defying a direct order! Take. Them. Off” I should have done it there and then because in the next few minutes I had never seen him so furious. He pulled them off me, the force practically ripping them in half; he shoved my face into my pillow with my ass in the air. I heard the clink of metal and the deafening slap of his leather belt against my skin. I let out a wounded scream into the cotton anaesthesia, with each swing the pain intensified until tears dripped down my face. I hadn’t cried since Lily was born, tears were a sign of weakness, I wasn’t supposed to be weak. I fell asleep in between smacks the belt sending me into a pain-induced sleep.

I woke in the morning to the sound of hysterics, my eyelids were heavy and vision blurred with last night tears. My ass was still in the air, making my back ache in the uncomfortable state of the position. I rolled back into a sitting position, the strangled cry of the welts that had appeared last night alerting everyone that I am awake. My mom rushed into my room; stroking my hair with her hand whist she brushed away my tears with her other. I leaned my body against her “Mom, I can’t sit down. I can’t sit down”

“I know honey everything is going to be fine”

“Where’s Lily?”

“She’s out playing with Glimmer, Marvel and Clove.”

“Where’s Father?”

“He’s at work.”

“He hit me,” I choked back the last of my tears vowing I’d never cry again, “who were you arguing with?”

“Arima, you know Marvels mother. She’s going to treat those wounds for you”

“No, no I don’t want anyone to see me like this”

Arima entered her face gaunt and hanging in pity “Cato, don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. Please just let me help you.”

I nodded in reluctance, she started talking again “We’ll get you showered, and then I need to put this crème from the Capitol on you,” she held a silver tub in her hands “by tomorrow the welts and exterior blemishes will have mostly disappeared but you will still fell discomfort and pain. I’ll have you patched up for Icarus, hopefully by tonight.” I nodded and headed to the bathroom, throwing my shirt on to the floor. I shut the door behind me as I recognized that I was half naked, whoop-de-fucking-doo why don’t I parade myself round the whole freaking district.


	7. Strong Urge, Stronger Release

**Peeta P.O.V**

I ran up to my room, how was 5 minutes long enough to pack for a journey to the Capitol. Come on, Peeta, prioritise. First pants, next shoes and then...what now? Shit I’ve already wasted 4 minutes, duh Peeta tops. My scurrying around my room was halted when my Dad knocked on my door, his clarity already vanished “Peet-Peeta he wants you,” his voice croaked I don’t know whether it was out of sadness or his inebriation. I picked up my bag which was pitifully small, full of nothing but necessities. I used the last of my minutes to root around my bedside table and pull out the only sentimental item I owned. A tattered picture of my Mum, Dad and me covered in dust. It was old and reminded me of what my life could have been if the capitol didn’t interfere. It’s ironic that they’re called Peacekeepers isn’t it?

I made my way to Kadus who stood dignified at the threshold of the bakery “Do you want to do anything else before you leave boy?” I smirked to myself, of course, there’s plenty more I want to do like, like actually live my life without you interfering. I turned around to see Mayor Undersee standing in the front of his car, the only one in the district; he wrung his hands threading them through the other in the futile attempt to warm them in the constant coldness of 12. Helen approached me and embraced me, her arms like moving stone. She whispered in my ear, the malice like poison “If I’m lucky you will die after your third year, the Hunger Games are brutal, deadly and not places for a little shit like you. Bye bye Peeta.” Her insults slid off my back and I hopped in the space that remained vacant beside Kadus. The door shut with a whack and I didn’t spare the bakery a second glance.

~xXx~

The train ride was pretty uneventful and comfortable; I was kept entertained by Katniss whining to Gale and his obvious inability to handle her mood swings. A complete fish out of water. When we arrived in the capitol from the subterranean bowels that separated the closest districts, it was like a smack to the face. The city was a sea of rainbow coloured hair and costumes, people swarmed the station their cameras flashing vividly and frantically. I blushed and waved to the overflowing crowd, beckoning Gale and Katniss to do the same. Katniss refused but Gale climbed onto the sofa and enjoyed the attention, for such a quiet guy he sure was confident. There was a mechanical buzz and Kadus’ voice boomed overhead “12’s can you please make your way to the front exit.” We grabbed our bags and obeyed his instructions there was no point fighting back now, we might as well get used to the new life. When we stepped out of the train, I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of questions and screams, I didn’t brunt the full force of enthusiasm thanks to Kadus organising us into single file but it was still scary. I turned round checking on Gale and Katniss his hands placed firmly on her shoulders as unspoken protection, how I wish for the same comfort...from a girl of course.

We walked through the crowd until we were ushered into an expensive looking car far grander than Undersee’s and the interior was pure leather, clearly there was no expense restrained on the embellishments. We raced through the streets; they were lined with intimidating buildings completely reflective that shimmered like diamonds under the soft purple-like sunlight of dusk. “Where is everyone?” the streets unlike the station were completely desolate of pedestrians, Kadus simply pointed upwards were trains ran on white frames “People in the capitol have become lazy, they rely heavily on the public transport system implemented last year, it became more appealing six months ago when the outer districts started serving drinks and food to the population. It’s become more of a moving restaurant than a way to get around. Anyway sit down properly we’ll arrive in a minute.”

~xXx~

Icarus was massive the size of the campus was more than half the size of 12, it was gigantic. The door was made out of wood with creaking metal hinges which was encompassed by red brick walls littered with old long windows that let in an abundant amount of light. Kadus knocked on the door and waited for it to open, we walked into the hall. The collective gasp of Gale, Katniss and I making Kadus laugh, that was the first time I’d actually seen him remotely happy, I couldn’t help but blush, how simple we must seem to him. “Boys dorms are that way” pointing up the staircases to the right “and girls that way” pointing to the left. The stairs arched out and then met at the middle like an opening pair of arms, we proceeded up the stairs our steps cushioned by the red carpet on every step. “This is where I shall leave you” he brushed down his shirt “don’t worry you’ll be in good hands, I assure you. The head of the dormitories will look after you; don’t get on their bad side though. I hear victors have an ugly side when provoked.” I swallowed loudly as Kadus exited through the doors in which we just came in, it looked like Gale and Katniss shared my worries. Did he just say victors?

Gale and Katniss parted with a quick kiss; the corridor was long and dotted with pictures of all the male victors since the first Hunger Games. I recognised a couple including Haymitch who looked quite good in his hay day. We walked into the room which was split into 8 rooms compiled of 4 beds or less. We chose the one which had two bunk beds, Gale called bottom so I made my way up the mahogany ladder that led to a soft bed which was only a little bit away from the ceiling. We stayed in silence, I don’t know what Gale was doing but I was contemplating on the fact that in the morning I didn’t have to see Helen. Good riddance to the bitch. “Oh Hello” the voice was deep a mans definitely considering this was the boys dorm, I couldn’t make out his face which was now shrouded in the darkness of the Capitol night, he flicked the room switch “my names Gloss, nice to meet y’, I’m head of the dorm.” Hang on a second did he just say Gloss, I shot up straight away realising who he was, but I was quickly sent hurtling back down when my head connected with the surface above me. I sucked my breath in anguish opening my eyes to see a worried Gloss peering over the edge at me “Are you okay?” I nodded in reply, when I seen he wasn’t looking at my face but the skin that was exposed when my top had risen from the hand alleviating the pain of my forehead. I rapidly fixed my shirt and made my way down, I was blushing loudly clearly noticeable as I fiddled with the cotton of my top and the innocently wicked smile he had on his face. Gale also clocked on to my discomfort yet thankfully remained indifferent. “Hi I’m Peeta and this is Gale. District 12.”

“Oh 12 I see well nice to meet you Gale” he shook his hand “now to get on with the boring bit, y’ know rules and all that crap. First no going into the opposite genders room, its fine if you say hello, second no sex and lastly yes this is a school to groom you for the Hunger Games but try and have fun. Well, see you later Gale, hope to see you soon Peeta.” His eyes met mine and I couldn’t reciprocate the intensity in the manner he looked at me so I took a real interest in my bare feet. As soon as he left I let go of a breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding.

“Did I miss something between you two?” Gale asked curiously flicking his eyes between me and where Gloss had just stood

“Nothing really.”

He stared at me, not buying the act at all “Peeta, tell me.” I’d never heard him so commanding.

“Fine, fine he started to check me out and as per usual I got uncomfortable which people tend to think as me always playing hard to get.”

“Well you’re not gay are you? So there’s nothing to worry about.”

“No I’m not gay;” well I don’t think I am but I’m not ready to question myself just yet “and I know there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Okay then. I’m going to hit the hey, so speak to you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth when I realised I’d left it in my bag, I walked back out and rummaged through the side pocket. Don’t call me a freak but I have this whole routine of a night brush, floss, rinse and repeat at least 3 times. One of the many things flawed about me, I promise I’m not vain it’s just that dirty teeth unnerve me. About 15 minutes later and I was done, I threw my toothbrush into the holder next to the sink and opened the door to go to bed, when I stopped there in all his glory was Gale. He was sound asleep half naked in just his boxers that just about covered his tenting manhood. I tried to look away but he was just so tantalisingly handsome, that ruggedness that made him so appealing. No Peeta he’s Katniss’. But I mean what’s the harm, indulge a little bit. I silently made my way to his side and grabbed the hem of his boxers, slowly lifting them over his swollen member. It was a short glimpse lasting 7 seconds at best but it was like a photograph ingrained into my very memory. The sweet scent of lust and heat that radiated from his cock that was encapsulated by a nice collection of brownish hair. I couldn’t help it anymore; I went back to the bathroom, pulled my pants down enough to allow access and wrapped my hand around myself. I imagined unspeakable things he took me everywhere on the bed, against a wall, in front of Katniss and he filled me every time. It was the most violent orgasm I’ve ever had; it completely missed the toilet and shot onto the wall. I slumped against my hand that anchored me to the wall that I just sprayed on to. I grabbed tissue and wiped the mess finishing the job with a flush. This still doesn’t prove I’m gay. I made my way to the mattress completely exhausted from my satiated libido. I was going to sleep well tonight.


	8. The Final Arrival

**Cato P.O.V**

After the crème was layered on my ass, I couldn’t help but think why did he do this to me? I mean I was his son wasn’t I, I know I get angry and lash out but it’s usually aimed towards those who’ve hurt my pack or infuriated me beyond belief not the ones I care for most. I can’t wait to become victor; once I win I’m taking everything from him. I’ll take Mom, Lily, his money, his house and I will destroy his pride. I kept fantasising about the things I would do, publically embarrass him, and make him cry in shame. He will never, ever look me in the eye again!

I was snapped out of my imagined rage by the soft kiss on my forehead and the warmth of my boxers pulled up to my waist. Mom could always do that to me, calm me down, and make me feel comfortable. She rubbed my lower back “Lie flat Cato, get some sleep. Don’t worry I’ll make up an excuse for Marvel and the rest of them.” I sighed, crying is tiring.

~xXx~

The sun crept into my bedroom, its rays slowly and softly waking me from my deep sleep. The welts had cleared but the uncomfortable sensation was ever present. I stood up and got in the shower the after feeling of the crème making me feel dirty and downright horrible.  Is it just me or does anyone else hate that fucking feeling. The shower diminished some of the unpleasant sensations with its warm embrace. I was in the shower longer than intended my problems being washed away like the water on my body. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist when just at that moment a knock came from the hallway. I opened it tentatively in the worry that it was Father but it was an unhappy Lily “Put some clothes on,” her voice was timid and croaky a complete contrast to the balled fists and the feigning although slightly steely facade “someone’s here to see you.” I couldn’t think who it could possibly be, normally Father would be in work, Mom would be already here and Lily was standing right in front of me. I ignored that question for now and decided to ask a different one “What’s wrong with you?” Lily looked at me her eyes watering with restrained tears, before turning around and heading to her bedroom. What was wrong with her? Why is she so sad? Does she know...please, please say she doesn’t I’ve had enough weakness in the past 2 days than I already care to admit.

I grabbed my clothes, dressing swiftly I chose to wear a plain black top that was now most probably a little bit too small considering the all the muscle I gained just growing up and I wore grey sweat pants to match. They were cotton and loose which was ideal because I didn’t even want to test the sensation of pants on my ass, I just hope I don’t get turned on, I sure as hell know people will notice. The floor was cool on my feet as I walked downstairs, light glared from down the hallway; it was coming from the dining room. I didn’t see the point of a dining room we hardly ever use it, only if we’re entertaining special guests. Special guest, shit! I raced through the corridors making it to the room in 15 seconds flat, my chest heaved slightly and I rubbed my ass cheeks, I should refrain from running for just a short while. I turned the handle and was greeted by my Mom and a man he was the first person that I’ve seen to easily tower over me “Hello Cato I am Kadus the 4th a representative to the Capital, I’m here to take you to Icarus.”

“When do we leave,” my voice was hard yet full of excitement.

“In 30 minutes. I’m sorry it’s on such short notice but President Snow decided that he would like the first week to be an induction for all those from the districts who were accepted into such a prestigious school. You know iron out all the formalities so it’s easier to get on with the following year. Up to now your district is the last to arrive considering you have the most people that are attending.”

“30 minutes isn’t long, so I’ll have to excuse myself.” He nodded agreeing with the sentiment, lucky for me I’ve been packing in advance I just needed to collect my bag and that was it. But 30 minutes was short because I have to say goodbye to Lily and knowing her she would try to stay strong but ultimately break down in tears. There’s a significant age gap between us but we are still close, that’s something I’ve got to thank Father for-mutual distaste.  “Lily, Lily.”

“What.” She laid on her bed her face towards the wall.

“I’m going now.”

“Fine”

I sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed, she bounced softly when my weight hit the mattress “Come on, don’t be like that,” I kept my voice calm, the last time I shouted at her I got a shitload of guilt from Mom “I won’t be gone long, you know it’s not like I’m entering the Games straight away. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“What if you don’t?”

“What if I don’t what?”

“What if you don’t come back?”

“Excuse me.” My voice was slowly rising in intensity; the process of containing my anger at her minimal faith in me was fucking hard.

“I’m not saying you won’t win, I think it’s impossible for anyone to beat you. But...but...”

“But?”

She turned round her face inches from mine; her eyes were puffy from all the crying. Her chest heaved with every breath and I could feel her fear “Cato, I never want to lose you, you’re my only brother. I don’t want to be alone, everyone else here sees me as a daughter of the Hadley’s...Cato’s little sister. But you see me as me. You see me as Lily. I’m not just some little girl to you, you listened to me and you introduced me to Clove, Marvel and Glimmer. Please Cato. Promise me you will come back. Promise me. Please.”

I looked in her eyes, they were full of innocence. I lost mine too young because of **him** but I won’t let her. I pulled her into my arms, completely embracing her. “I promise I’ll come back. I always keep my promises don’t I. I love you Lily. I love you.” I held her close until her body stopped shaking with restrained sobs. I promise you Lily, I’ll kill all fuckers in my way.

~xXx~

I got into the car with Kadus, he sat legs crossed tapping his feet, the car left the drive and I caught one last glimpse of my family before I left. The journey was silent and swift. We reached the train in a matter of minutes; I was guided into my room and waited for the door to close before I sat down. The pain had fully subsided; the redness was all that remained.  There was no point unpacking the time it took to the Capitol was enough to contemplate on nothing. The room wasn’t that much different from my own, the universal remote and the double bed with soft sheets. It was minimalist most probably because no one actually occupies these rooms for more than 5 hours at a time. I spread my body out stretching my limbs as they moaned with the stiffness of the sleep of last night. My thoughts were only short lived as Kadus called our names “Can everyone come to the door please”. I picked up my bag and made my way to the door. Everyone was standing there, we all cracked our joints in unison, it was game time.

We stepped out of the train and walked straight to the car waiting for us at the other side; Kadus observed us from our backs as we waved with false smiles to the crowd, fucking idiots are they so easily fooled. I’ll have them wrapped round my finger in no time.

~xXx~

We pulled up to the Icarus dorms, it was traditional. I didn’t like it, I bet there were no remotes for everything and we’d have to share fuckin’ rooms. Great who knows I’ll be dumped with if its Marvel then it’ll be ok but everyone else can go fuck themselves. I walked up to the door, breathing in, to prepare exerting maximum dominance at all times. The entrance was grand in every detail the twin staircases that separated and joined at the top and the dramatic chandelier. Kadus shouted “Gloss! Cashmere!” the time was non-existent before a reply was shouted in return “What?”

“Can you bring the rest of the districts down!”

“Sure.”

The following minutes were followed the shuffling of feet against the thick carpets that lined floors wall to wall on the upper landing. I dropped my bag on the floor waiting for everyone to arrive. I flexed once, and stood tall. Intimidation was always great to gauge everyone’s traits. Strong, weak...submissive.

~xXx~

The introductions were short and sweet, taking turns to state names and Districts. The ones I particularly remember were Finnick, Annie, Gale, Thresh, Rue, Katniss and Peeta. He approached us afterwards introducing himself yet again “Hi, my names Peeta. I’m from 12; I came here with Gale and Katniss. I thought all of you...you know Careers were scary but you seem really nice.” Nice, nice I’m not fucking nice. I pushed him to the floor and lifted him to my face by his collar “I am not nice. You fucking say that again and you wish you’d never come here. You’re from 12, a bunch of shits, who think they can hold their head up high just because you got a lucky break by being invited here. Don’t ever think we are the same.” 12 wouldn’t sop staring at me I felt his need to bow his head but he remained vigilant during the confrontation, he might just be interesting. The blonde hair, that smile and those blue eyes. There was nothing really special about him but those eyes he still had fight in him. I’m going to enjoy this. “Can you get your hands off him?”

“What?” I looked up to find Gloss standing firm right by my side. He was obviously ripped, his biceps bulging. He wore a sleeveless top that exposed his tan arms.

“Are you deaf? Leave him.”

I let go of his collar there’s no point starting a fight now, I’ve got plenty of more time to terrorize him yet. “You’re one lucky boy Peeta, you’ve been save by Prince Charming here,” I could sense his obvious hatred of his newly acquired nickname “don’t you worry I’ll see you soon.” I picked up my bag and made my way up the stairs, I turned my head slightly to see Gloss on one knee checking Peeta for injuries, one thing bothered me though. There was no need for that much fucking touching. I’m not jealous or anything but now I’ve got a victim and competition. Looks like I’ve hit the jackpot here. Get ready, Peeta.

 


	9. Processing for Perfection

**Peeta P.O.V**

What was his problem? I was only saying hello, there was no need to push me around like that. I’m fed up with people like him; it was supposed to be different. Icarus is a fresh start; I want it to be a fresh start. No more humiliation, no more bitching and no more controlling people.

I can’t help but wonder when did it start? These, these delusions of a normal life, I should know by now. Every part of my life is one big fucking affair of people’s hatred a verbal and physical punching bag.

“Gloss I’m fine,” I pushed his hands off as he checked me.

“Oh sorry,” his eyes expressing his concern and desire to touch me. It unnerved me, the way he looked at me. Not as human but a piece of meat. That’s just fucking great I’ve been downgraded from a living, breathing person to an object for mental re-enactments of everyone else’s fantasies.

“I’m going, if you need me, tell Gale.” I pushed myself off the floor and made my way up the stairs my face downcast so I didn’t have to make eye contact with any of the others that lingered at the top of the stairs. As I passed Gale patted me on the shoulder, why couldn’t they be like him? Reassuring, comforting, generally a nice guy. He didn’t have any problems with me.

I walked down the corridor my strides becoming longer as I jogged round the corner; I made it to the doorway and found Cato and Marvel in the adjacent room unpacking. I stared at the back of their heads, willing them to turn around so I could snarl at them, which was my default retaliation a quick angered glance or a patronising glare. Nothing too direct, but enough to satiate my thirst for rebellion against them, and my own goody-two shoes persona. Unfortunately, like everything else in my shitty little life-as Cato so aptly described- it didn’t happen. I shut my door, banging my head on the thin piece of wood that separated me from the man who isn’t afraid to hurt me.

The ladder to the top bunk creaked underneath my feet as the metal withstood my weight. I lay on my side facing the wall; I’m getting sick of this melancholy atmosphere.

~xXx~

A hand rocked my shoulder, oh shit, I must have fallen asleep. I shuffled around, Gale spoke softly “Come on, its lunch and we’ve got a meeting to go to.” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, slowly making my way down the steps. I pulled on my shoes and Gale tried to start a conversation with me, I laughed at his awkwardness even if half-heartedly, the tense situation was diffused slightly. I said softly “Thanks Gale.”

“What? Sorry I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nothing.”

“Ok” he ruffled my hair and for once I found it a relaxing sentiment rather than the annoyance that I previously associated with the action.

~xXx~

Gale waited for me outside the canteen, silently pointing to the small rectangular window; I peeked in, at the back on the left hand side Katniss, Thresh and Rue were all eating and talking-except for Thresh. My eyes scoured the rest of the room, behind their table was the lunch buffet which was dotted with a myriad of colours in quintessential Capitol fashion, they can’t just leave things alone. The last time I checked bread wasn’t supposed to be pink and green. Then I spotted Finnick and Annie, I think, spoon feeding each other strawberries and cream, it was romantic in an embarrassing way. I felt like I was peering in to an intimate moment. Finally, my eyes rested on the table closest to the door and they were all there. My stomach flipped with anxiety and my whole body quaked in fear and betrayal of my attempt to keep myself together. They didn’t notice me spying them from the door window; they were too engrossed in whatever they were talking about.

Gale opened the door without any warning and waltzed into the canteen, no one paid attention to him except for the few sideward glances to see who it was. He was so confident, self-assured the complete opposite to my shaken form. I willed one foot in front of the other, my head held up high. I hope it came off as formidable.

I was halfway passed the table, praying internally that they would just let me pass. I knew they had seen me, to them I was most probably a walking target. I’m nearly there, nearly there I repeated the mantra over and over fuelling the momentum of my walk, suddenly Cato’s leg stretched slightly yet abruptly making me flinch in not fear but the possibility of fear coming to fruition. I sped up, my face as bright red as the cake on the end of the buffet. I couldn’t stop blushing; my eyes became hot and wet as I heard the sniggering just in earshot. I balled my fists as I sat down, eating the food Katniss had so kindly supplied but the one time I actually get a solid meal the taste was dulled by the rambunctious table that unsettled me in every way. I looked over my shoulder to see Cato, Marvel and Glimmer-which by the way is such a stupid name-laughing hard, the other girl Clove remained interested in the plate before her. At least one of them isn’t as keen to make my life a living hell.

~xXx~

I was only given a small time to eat; it must have been 5 minutes, because the buffet was cleared momentarily after I arrived. Kadus entered with Gloss and Cashmere behind him. His height was properly put in proportion now, mainly because I felt small in Cato’s presence and Kadus was a good couple of inches taller albeit less built. “I’m glad to see everyone getting on so amiably,” he raked the room to focus on me, for fuck sake how many more people know “as you know, your time at Icarus will start shortly and President Snow would like to hold an induction ceremony for the Districts to be broadcasted in the Capitol and the screens that will be distributed to your hometowns. As of his request you will all be put through a routine regime of cleaning as part of the showca- uh um, induction.” He pulled out a watch from the breast pocket of his tailored jacket. “The ceremony will be held at 7 o’clock sharp tonight. I expect you to be on your best behaviour, the perfecting may now begin.” He snapped his fingers like he did back in the bakery, a wave of Capitol stylists flooded the room each making their way to the assigned districts. Our designers quickly introduced themselves as Cinna and Portia, they were nice enough however I was too preoccupied with acting self-conscious to pay any attention the one-sided conversation that followed. I went to rub the back of my neck with my hand, again that nervous tick of mine, but Portia pulled my hand to my side straight away. Yippee another man handler, for some reason I felt her approach to be less commandeering and more appreciative although whether that’s a compliment or not can’t be immediately deduced by her smile and neon hair.

~xXx~

We were quickly escorted into several different rooms, Gale and I with Portia and Katniss with Cinna. The room was small with no windows the electric bars that lined the ceiling filling the room with superficial light. “Strip!” I looked at her perplexed “well come on we haven’t got all day, it starts at 7 you know!”

I mumbled my words becoming jumbled by the nervous flutters “H-Here?!”

I could tell she was surprised “Peeta dear you’re so precious but this isn’t the time to act so old fashioned, just do it quickly and it will be over soon. Okay.”

I undressed, my body facing the polished silver wall, I removed my shirt and pants I was well built I had a fair bit of muscle and my stomach was toned but not sculpted. I had a happy trail of light brown to blondish hair running to the waistband of my boxers, they were a little tight because they were a couple of year’s old and had a small hole in the right leg. “I’ll go first,” I sighed in relief at Gale’s offer “let’s get this over with.” I heard the door open and close behind me, I exhaled and turned around to come face to face with his chest, “Oh sorry, I didn’t realise you were still here.” I cracked my knuckles and focused on my hands like a school girl, I was trying not to peak because I knew he was naked. He grabbed my hand “Don’t do that, you’ll end up with arthritis when you’re older. Take your time getting comfortable while I’m in there,” he pushed my head up with his hand underneath my chin “okay.”

“Okay.” He walked towards the door placing his hand on the steel knob “Please don’t click your fingers, I want to see you paint those cupcakes for the rest of your life.” The words put me at ease as I was wrapped in nostalgia, the smell of cooking bread and the cheeky pieces of sponge; I used to take when making the cakes. The one thing that got me excited the most wasn’t the fact that Helen wasn’t associated with any of these memories but decorating the cakes. I remember designing my first batch, it was the start of the cursive writing epidemic, I had an obsession with perfection although that resulted in icing covering most of the work bench and my face, which apparently gave Gale the inclining to swipe it of my face with his finger and then eat it. My breath hitched from the memory and I could feel my face quietly blushing. I was alone in the room, trying to distract myself and to alleviate the obvious bulge in my pants. I am not gay, I am not gay, I am not gay. The repetition helped and just in time as Portia beckoned me to enter the room; she sat me down on a bed that was lined with the softest cushions. “This won’t hurt a bit,” I detected the constrained chuckle that stuck at the back of her throat. Why was she laughing? What’s so funny?

As I was about to voice my questions, straps were secured around my arms and legs, I didn’t like this feeling of being caged, controlled...completely vulnerable. They flashed like lightning in my head, the ring that Helen printed on my face, the remarks Helen used to make, the school yard bullies and Cato. The warm compress was placed between my dick and stomach directly on my happy trail, my eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck was going on? Then the rip occurred it was fast like a car and as hurtful as the impact. I screamed as hairs were forcefully pulled from my skin, “What are you doing? Put him under, put him under now,” all I could see was Portia with her bright wig and her pink lips moving in time with her words, I’m guessing she didn’t find it funny, my head rolled to the other side. About 3 people stood in all black bowing in apology, I had no time to speak and then the pain was alleviated when it went dark.

~xXx~

My head was groggy and my limbs heavy with-what I presume-was drug-induced sleep, I was on an all white linen bed with new underwear and nothing else, I felt disconnected from reality as the grey and the dreariest wall I’d seen since arriving at the Capitol, had come into focus. I stumbled over to the door, opening it onto only a slightly bigger room with the stereotypical wacky wallpaper and the bustling of Portia and her helpers, “Where’s Gale?” my voice was quite as though I feared its own volume.

“Oh Peeta,” why did she always regard me as a child, a broken piece of furniture, “you’re the last one sweety.”

“The last one for what?”

“For the induction, silly everyone’s waiting for you. Now hurry up we’ve got 20 minutes to make you fabulous.”

I meandered over wincing as my thighs lightly touched each other “Why does everything burn?”

“Don’t worry it will calm down soon, it’s just the after effects.” I remembered the nauseating feeling of the removal of my happy trail and grabbed the place where it was in an involuntary reaction. I was sprayed with a dusting of golden colour and body glitter and then suited in a slim fit; tailored tux. I felt handsome for a change; I turned examining myself in the mirror propped against the wall. Portia was practically beaming, “Thank you,” this was officially the happiest I’ve been since...well ever.

I walked out the room, the burning which had previously intensified became a mellow heat, I pushed open the doors and I wound back up in the foyer of the dorms. Gale and Katniss were by the left staircase, I walked over to them pretending to strut. They chuckled at my public show of modelling which looked like how it felt-completely idiotic. “Is everyone ready to leave now?” Kadus asked Gloss.

“Yeah, Peeta was the last.”

Katniss came up to us and fixed our ties, brushing us down and fixed some of the hair that dare to become stragglers. Gale and I grinned, speaking in unison “Thanks **Mom**.” She gave us both stern looks before passing me a pin. “What’s this?”

“It’s a Mocking jay pin, Cinna thought it would be a good idea if we all had something matching, you know District 12 and all that.”

“I understand that but why a Mocking jay?”

“Prim gave me mine before we left, Cinna had yours and Gale’s made.” That’s when I noticed it; the pin was small yet delicate and beautiful. It summed up the Everdeen sisters to a tee.

I fumbled with the pin, dropping it in my attempt to pierce the expensive fabric. I bent down slowly, I was cautious not to cause any tears before we even got there. Finally, I picked it up after a few good tries; I concentrated harder this time, until it was securely fastened. Gale coughed quietly grabbing my attention he nodded behind me. I turned round to find Gloss’ mouth agape and Cato smirking slyly whereas Marvel and Annie stole secret glances in my direction. “Gale, why are they looking at me?”

“Oh I don’t know maybe they liked the way you presented yourself in the tux?”

“What?...Oh!” My cheeks flared, why didn’t they take a picture it would last longer.

~xXx~

We walked outside the Capitol breeze sweet and refreshing, it was neither cold nor hot and the night was completely black barren with stars as the neon hue from the various clubs shot unto the black canvas of the sky.

The limos pulled up onto the drive, we each piled into one. It was basically Cato and the group with Finnick and Annie, whilst the rest of us packed in to the other one. This is the first ever time I’ve got to a serious ceremony like this, scratch that this is the first party I’ve been to in all my life. This was going to be fucking amazing.

 


	10. Cut from the same cloth

**Cato P.O.V**

As we arrived at President Snow’s private hall we were attacked by the flashing lights of the paparazzi, dots of bright lights sporadically flickering with every capture of a shot that will feature in magazines for the next two weeks. The constant stopping and starting to appease the reporters grated on my nerves, we’re just media fodder for the next couple of days before were just normal students again. As long as we weren’t an interest to them they were done with us perpetual bitches whose regard doesn’t come into the fucking equation.

We make the doors after 10 minutes of fucking wasted time; Clove stops me her small hand pressed against my chest “Promise me you’ll keep your cool.”

“What do you mean?” I said perplexed.

“Oh, come off it Cato, I can nearly see the veins popping out of your neck and we’re not inside yet. Just breathe.”

“I’m not going into fucking labour, it’s just this is a waste of time.”

“No, it’s not a waste of time. You’re just having a hard time acting...civil.”

“I don’t know how everyone finds it so fucking-“

“Ah, language Cato.”’

“Fine, I don’t know how everyone finds it so ‘freaking’ easy” I bent my index and middle finger to emphasise the point of not swearing, it elicited a giggle out of Clove.

“Ok,” she talked reluctantly “I’ll trust you. For now. Don’t make a show of us; we might as well get started in gaining favour, only 2 years until we need those sponsors.”

I nodded placing my fist on my hip so she could link me. The entire room was immaculately decorated with a range of coloured cloth draping from the ceiling and tables laden with flowers, the waiters sped around at remarkable speeds catering to the guests that were now bordering on intoxication. “Bunch of pigs” I stated under my breath, Clove elbowed me hard and shook her head in disbelief. “Well done Cato you lasted two seconds.”

“Clove sorry,” she walked away her bag clutched in both of her hands until she sat down at our seats in the front of the hall “sorry!”

“I didn’t think you could be bossed around by anyone.”

Oh great what now? It bet not be fucking Glimmer I can’t deal with her incessant voice. “What did you just say?” he stood there completely stoic “go on say it again, 12.”

“It looks like Clove has a hold over you.” He reiterated nonchalantly, his coy smile only adding kindling to the growing fire of rage that was slowly releasing through my trembling fists. I squared up to him, watching him slowly withdraw not physically but emotionally putting up the metaphorical barriers. I placed my hand on his shoulder, gripping tighter with my fingers until he winced with pressure “I wouldn’t say anything 12, least I’ve actually got real friends not the fakes that you follow blindly. They don’t even know the real you, you know? The one you’re trying to hide,” I stared at his eyes that were red and bulging as his walls broke down, one more push shall do it, I leaned in closer making my voice a faint whisper “you fucking fag.”

In that split second my hand was nudged hardly by the boy they called Gale, he simply pointed to the table were Clove was sitting. Her legs were crossed and her eyebrow furrowed in an amalgamation of disappointment and anger. I gulped as I noticed she was twiddling a knife from the silver cutlery that decorated the table. I brushed myself down and walked over to Clove, sitting silently in the adjacent chair.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing.”

“Cato, it doesn’t look like nothing, just look at him,” I snorted, a failed attempt at dismissing the conversation “Cato look at him. He’s practically broken.” I looked out the corner of my eye to the figure that sat on the next table over; he was crying into his lap the tears like pin drops among the bustling crowd of the Capitol philanthropists, _Shit,_ he wasn’t supposed to cry he was supposed to get angry. “I didn’t mean to-“my voice choked with the sudden flash of images of lying on my bed the welts pulsing in pain from each thwack of the belt.

“I know,” she grabbed my hand underneath the table trying to coax me out from my painful memories “don’t worry I’ll go and see him tonight.”

“Thank you.”

~xXx~

The lights dimmed to a golden incandescence, as Caesar Flickerman ushered us down the wings of the stage, his voice boomed in the hall his overpowering charisma matched only by the flamboyance of his outfit. A garish dark blue suit matched with its quail blue undershirt and pink cotton candy hair. I waited until my name was called; I was left pondering in the wings, reflecting on my confrontation, _I always take it to fucking far._

“Finally, we have our top two graduates of the entire year, with the highest scores ever recorded. Peeta Mellark and Cato Hadley.”

I exhaled slowly, forcibly controlling my nerves as I stepped in to the light that bathed the stage, the crescendo of applause fuelling my walk, my eyes transfixed on the figures before me. I shook Caesar’s hand and signalled to Peeta to sit down first, I touched his back slightly he was completely calm.

“So Peeta, let’s start with you first. How did you feel when you opened your results?”

“I was elated,” his voice was steady, unwavering as he spoke to Caesar and addressed the crowd, but I didn’t fail to notice him slowly inching to the opposite end of the couch and his sheet white complexion when sitting next to me “to be honest I was surprised, I had a lot on my plate at the time. School, work...other things.”

“We didn’t know you worked, did we?” the crowd mumbled in reply to his question.

“Oh yeah I work as a baker in District 12, making bread and cakes.”

“What’s the best bit about working there?”

“Erm, I’d have to say not working in the mines and decorating the cakes. I find it therapeutic and it allows me to do what I want.”

“Well, Peeta congratulations on coming to Icarus, you’ve earned it, hasn’t he?” the room filled with a cacophony of cheers and wolf whistles. He blushed loudly his face nearly the same colour as Flickerman’s hair, I stared at his face. I guess he was cute.

“Cato, Cato!”

“Sorry,” I spoke breaking me out of my fixation.

“How did you feel when opening your results?” my superiority kicked in and I puffed out my chest in self-satisfaction.

“I wasn’t surprised really,” giggles spreading across the room “I didn’t even find the tests that hard and there wasn’t any real competition. But I guess there is now.” I tapped Peeta’s leg feeling him flinch ever so slightly, laughter spread infectiously from table to table.

“I suppose so,” an iridescent smile breaking out on his face “what are you looking forward to most in Icarus?”

“Weapons practice,” my answer quick and definitive “and the other students. Of course.” I winked flirtatiously to the crowd, the amount of swooning becoming audible. The sound broken by the small “Tch” that left 12’s mouth. I turned to him, my hand still resting on his leg I tightened; he gritted his teeth and fell back into silence.

“Haha, that’s just like you. Peeta Mellark and Cato Hadley, everybody, the top students of the year.” The place ruptured into applause as we made our ways to the table.

~xXx~

As I stepped back into the dorm, I approached Clove “Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Sure,” she patted my hand and she soothed me with a rub on my bicep, “I’ll be there in 10.”

We parted on the landing as I headed for her dorm and she headed to mine, as my head hit the pillow I lied down the room still and vacant. I drifted to sleep, wrapped in guilt, _fucking great I’m just like him._

 

 


	11. Oblivious Repercussions

**Peeta P.O.V**

Katniss and Gale went to her room, leaving me alone on the top bunk of the bed. I stared aimlessly yet intently at the 50 shades of beige before me. My reverie shortly interrupted by the knocking on the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Clove.”

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in? Peeta?”

“Come in.”

“Peeta?”

“Up here.”

“Come down.”

“No.”

“Please,” she was relentless but I remained steadfast in my rebellion.

“Peeta, so help me God if you don’t get down in 5 seconds.” I gawked at her audacity is she really treating me like a child, what can she really do.

“5”

“4” Shit, she’s actually serious about this, don’t turn around. Do NOT turn around.

“3” I twisted my neck peering at the small dainty girl before me. Our eyes connected and the tempestuous grey shook me, her anger festering and brewing.

“2”

“Fine, fine I’m getting down.”

“1”

“I said I’m getting down.” My bare feet hit the floor beneath me as I jumped from the bunk; she stopped the countdown and grabbed the desk chair from the table in between the row of beds. She pointed at Gale’s bunk “Sit” her voice soft but commandeering. I followed her orders and sat opposite as she plonked herself on the chair backwards so her legs were wide open and her chest was pressed against the back.

“You’re not very lady-like, are you?”

“Oh sorry,” throwing her hands up feigning her apology, “I never said I was and what’s comfortable is comfortable.” 

We sat in silence, the awkward atmosphere creeping along my skin like secrets that desperately wanted to burst out. I broke the tension.

“So what did you want to say to me?”

“I came here to say sorry.”

“Why?” my general perplexing attitude causing her to become confused as well.

“Cato?”

“Why didn’t he come here himself?” my voice indignant.

“Do we know two different people? Cato isn’t exactly the greatest with words. He’s too proud to come here, but I came to apologise on his behalf. Trust me when I say he wasn’t meaning to upset you. He was trying to...annoy you.”

“Annoy me! Annoy me! Why would he want annoy me? Why should I trust what you’re saying? For all I know he isn’t sorry at all, you’re just making excuses for him. Pardoning him because he can’t fucking face me himself. The self-righteous dick.”

“He’s annoying you because he likes people with a bit of a backbone, he wants a rival and you’re the best fit, especially after what was revealed tonight. You’re both the same academically but he wants some passion, some fight, some fun.”

“Clove, he called me a fag.”

“What?” she was speechless stunned into silence.

“He called me a F-A-G. If you want to annoy me keep on calling me 12 that’s pretty irritating but don’t call me a fag. I’ll decide what I am and I’ll decide when I tel-“

“Are you gay, Peeta? I mean it’s okay if you are, I won’t tell anybody I promise.”

“No, no of course I’m not.”

“Peeta there’s no point lying, I’ll find out one way or another but it makes everything much easier if you tell me.”

“How do you know? You don’t know anything about me.”

“No I don’t know anything about you but I’ll be there to help you through it. I did it when Cato came out.”

“What?” it was my turn to be utterly dumb founded.

“Cato’s gay Peeta, well bisexual technically he came out quite a few years go now.”

“So why did he call me a fag?”

“I don’t know you’ll have to ask him that yourself but when he came out everyone abandoned him friends, family, colleagues and teachers. They harassed him so much he told me that he’d considered suicide a few times,” I held the lump down in my throat as my fears were expressed in words by Clove, “he’d come to my house bloodied and bruised but after his revelation is just got worse he’d have cuts down his arms and he was crying Peeta. Crying, when would you ever imagine Cato crying?”

“Never.”

“Exactly, and Mr-Mr Hadley was the worst, he was a victor and he had position in both District 1 and 2 not to mention the Capitol. Image was essential to him and then he found out he had a gay son, what do you think he did? He beat him, ‘punching the gay out’ Cato would always say, it was sick but no one would stop him. He’s just too scary and he never did it when anyone was around. No one could stop it. I used to cradle him with his head on my lap, brushing his hair. To be honest it was the only time I’d seen him smile.”

“What about his Mom?”

“She couldn’t do anything she’s a claimed.”

“A claimed?” I posed the question curiously.

“It’s this tradition in 1 and 2 a person can take possession of another person for the rest of their life. But victors can claim a person from their district as well. That’s what she is, she’s basically powerless. She couldn’t do anything; no one could.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“You can tell me the truth. Are you gay Peeta?”

“I-I...Yes I am,” my confession heavy and daunting.

“Okay, I’m going now. Cato’s sorry I promise.” I nodded in response as I crawled in to the corner of Gales bed. “Oh Peeta, don’t tell anyone what I said. Ok.” I nodded once more. The room was filled with silence again, I lay down not bothered climbing the steps to the top bunk.

~xXx~

The cold air and unfamiliarity startled me to a state of consciousness, everything was black undisturbed darkness. I struggled but my wrists were cuffed and tied down and I couldn’t scream as the makeshift gag rubbed against my cheeks. I felt stirring close to me and recoiled out of fear.

“He’s awake,” the voice was computerized obviously altered as the tone was low and growly.

“Great” the second voice was the same except for a slightly higher pitch

“Hey Peeta,” their voice was malicious; “we heard you were one of those queers.” My muscles constricted in apprehension.

“I’ve never had one of them as cute as you before,” the second one commented his cologne noxious in its copious amount.

Before I realised the gag was removed and replaced by something salty and long, in moments I realised his erection was in my mouth. I went to bite down, until it was removed and replaced with a well received fist to my stomach knocking the wind out of me and the resistance.

“No, no Peeta. If you do that we’ll have to hurt you. You don’t want that do you?”

I chose to remain sealed. They grabbed my hair and shoved it in again, this time to the back of my throat. It lasted for seconds but caused me to splutter and choke; it was thrust slowly and increased gradually in tempo.

“Suck Peeta suck,” my mouth remained unmoving.

“If you do, it will go faster,” he trailed a finger along my jaw line “I promise.” The flashback of the conversation with Clove came into my mind; _I’ll be there to help you through it._ I started to suck moving my tongue up and down the length, the moans and grunts signalling I was doing something right. Shortly, after the warm liquid shot down my throat “Swallow Peeta,” I did letting it slowly travel down “now that wasn’t so bad was it?”

They switched an I was forced to do it all over again, I bobbed and sucked getting it over with as quickly as possible. A hand reached in between my legs stroking my penis until it grew, I tried to rub against their hand adding to the friction. The orgasms were close together as I swallowed again and came all over my stomach. The erection was removed and the gag placed back around my mouth.

“Good boy Peeta.” I cried tears swelling and streaking down my cheeks to my throbbing jaw. I moved my legs which were now numb and propped myself against the wall. My wrists were chafed and my arms sore as they hung there. I heard footsteps coming into the room, a muffled mumble escaped my lips, _help me help me,_ I repeated it over and over and then stopped. I heard a zipper being undone and then the soft slap of pleasure I pulled my feet to my chest in complete defeat and waited until they were finished. Their seed spread over my hand and stomach. I could feel them kneel in front of me; their lips touched my skin and sucked. _No, no_ another wave of tears wracked my body as I physically felt the hickey form.

 

 

 

 


	12. Weakness gives way to anothers' strength

**Cato P.O.V**

I rubbed my eyes; I just had enough for today. As soon as she got back to the room Clove started having a fucking go at me, ‘Why’d you call him a fag Cato?, ‘Why did you do it Cato?’

I don’t know why I fucking called him a fag; it just happened I didn’t think about it. It came out before I could stop myself. I ran my hand down my face rubbing my temples in exasperation. I grabbed the door opening it with a hollow click, I stood rooted to the spot, I started second guessing myself _did I lock the door._ I entered cautiously; my footsteps gradually making me walk into the rooms.

 _Shit,_ my eyes watered threatening to break into tears. I choked at the broken figure huddled in the darkness. Waves of pain radiated from his body, slumped in exhaustion. I crawled over to his body, scared to touch him in case he broke underneath my touch, the feelings were all consuming. The perpetual beatings of my childhood paralyzed me into fear. _No snap out of it, he needs you, he needs you Cato._ I fiddled with the overcomplicated knots of the material tied on his hands and around the back of his head. Once his binds were released, I glanced over him the purple bruises faintly forming around his wrists. Tears streaked my cheeks, I picked him up embracing him closer, my arms cradling and protecting him but I felt helpless unable to relieve the deep seated trauma that littered the stains on his skin and the tracks that had paved his cheeks.

I checked the hall, its eerie silence adding to the boys despair but thankfully it was clear. I lay him down on the bottom bunk in his room, turning on the shower. The hot jets finally transforming into a steady stream of clarity, I thrust my hand into the flow checking the temperature. I couldn’t gauge the heat properly as I heard slight, haunting screams from the next room. My legs couldn’t carry me fast enough to his side; I seized his shoulders shaking lightly coaxing him out of his living nightmare. His head lolled to the side until his eyes pierced my own, his playfulness substituted for detachment. He was slipping through my fingers like liquid sunshine, the remnants of warmth only enough to heat the tips of my fingers let alone my heart. He was oblivious to everything his fatigue making him unresponsive to the point of delirium, stuck in the purgatory between reality and his fresh lingering nightmares.

The temperature was just right; I placed him in the shower, whispering tenderly “Peeta I need you to stand up. Can you do that for me?” his head moved to a small extent as he used the last of his strength to prop his arms on the wall. I took off my tux jacket and pushed the toilet seat down to place it on porcelain cover. I squirted the shower gel into my hand, rubbing thoroughly over his body until it became a thick lather, repeating with the shampoo and conditioner. His arms slipped on the tiles, I caught his body with my arm wrapped around his torso. The water turned off, the continuous sprinkle resulting in erratic drops. I grabbed the towel, wiping him down. I went to wipe the other side, until I noticed the lip shaped bruise beneath his collar bone toward the centre, _the sick bastard gave him a hickey._

I place him on the bottom bunk for the second time, walking to the bathroom I picked up my jacket and looked in the mirror, I was completely soaked. My hair stuck out at all angles, I stripped down to my boxers and folded my clothes. I pulled open Peeta’s drawers searching for anything that will remotely cover anything, I found a pair of faded grey sweatpants that came to mid shin and sat at the end stroking his newly washed locks. I brushed his cheek with the back of my hand and placed a kiss on his forehead. _I can’t wait to find the fucker who did this;_ it was the only thought racing through my mind as he drifted off to sleep, as soon as I moved he fidgeted disgruntled by the loss of company. I pulled my phone from Clove’s Dad out of my jacket pocket and draped it over his shoulders, the content look on his face telling me it worked. I searched through the contacts I had for Clove ringing her in a matter of seconds

“What is it Cato?” her voice lethargic

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you but you need to come to Peeta’s room now.”

“What are you doing in his room?”

“Just...can you come here please?” The pause in her voice insinuated that she grasped the gravity of the situation.

“Fine, just give me 2 seconds to put on some better clothes.”

“Thank you, Clove.”

“Ok, ok,” her voice cut off as she put down the phone. The room was lit by the small desktop lamp and the electrical illumination of the screen in my hand.

I spun in the chair watching Peeta sleep and waiting for the door to open.

~xXx~

Clove sat on the opposite set of untouched bunks, facing Peeta “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I found it hard to hide my worry “he was jus-just lying there.”

“It’s okay,” she always knew what to say “I think, I think it might be my fault.”

“Why?”

“Well, I mean about 4 hours ago he came out as gay to me and then you find him like this,” she points at the vulnerable boy on the bed “there’s got to be some connection.”

“That doesn’t mean it was your fault, it was a sadistic shit who was eavesdropping.” Clove buried her face in her palms brushing her hair back with her hands.

“Cato,” I could see her starting to shake, forcing the words to out of her mouth “what did you find?”

“I cleaned him up, there isn’t much physical marks except for the slight fist mark and the hickey.”

“A hickey?”

“Yeah.”

“For fuck sake”

“I know Clove, I know. I’m more worried about how he is, you know? Mentally, emotionally I mean we’ve both seen it first hand, haven’t we?” I looked up as she sighed heavily the silent understanding passing between us. She changed the conversation, distracting us from the depressing air that clung to our skin like invisible icy hands

“Are you going to stay here tonight?”

“I’m thinking about it, yeah. You can go back to your bed now if you want?”

“No. No offense Cato but he might want some female company.”

“Uh huh,” I muttered. Clove climbed to the top bunk of the unused bed and I lay down on top of the other sheets that were slightly scrunched from were Clove had been sitting.

~xXx~

I awoke startled by the sudden movement in the room; my eyes opened little by little adjusting to the light that flooded the room. The golden rays that jutted from the gaps in the curtains, dotted the floor with sparks of yellow like scattered pieces of hope that with any luck could be reassembled between me and Peeta. When my eyelids fully opened Peeta was sat up with the sheets and my jacket pulled up to his neck, hiding his dignity. He looked positively transcendent, astonishingly beautiful for the night he had just experienced which added to the panging feeling inside me.

“Psst Clove,” the top bunk remained silent “Clove he’s awake.” As I finished she vaulted on to the floor and sat at the end of the bed. She spoke first

“How are you Peeta?”

“What happened? Where are my clothes?”

“Peeta can you remember anything about last night?” Clove asked, I stared at his face as it scrunched up, contorted as he reminisced, he pulled the sheets wrapping it around his waist and ran to the bathroom. The following sounds of dry heaving at his failed attempt at being sick caused the sadness to repeat all over again, I wanted to run over to him, I would do anything for him. Clove pointed to her chest where the hickey was, I acknowledged what she was doing and then I noticed her face the faded mess of mascara that lined her face. _She’s just as upset as me._

He came out a couple of minutes later “Can I just have some time to myself. Please.”

We stood up and headed for the door, Clove and I saying are goodbyes “Promise me you’ll see me, you don’t have to deal with this alone.” Peeta smiled to the best extent he could muster.

Before I shut the door, I said one last thing “Sorry...Peeta.” He stared at me wide eyed like a deer in headlights completely off guard and I closed the door behind me. I loitered at the door, listening to the cries that wretched his whole body. _That’s the first time I’ve called him Peeta in a long time._

 


	13. Confessional Comfort

**Peeta P.O.V**

My whole body was shaken; after I put on my clothes and pulled the sheets up to my neck it did nothing to alleviate the prickles on my skin or the creeping filth that plagued my entire body. I felt the different material against my hands, I could smell him, the manliness, and the protection he offered it was underlying under the scent of...them. _This is why I didn’t tell anyone,_ what the point in being honest? Honesty hurts.

I concentrated on my breathing; it’s the only thing that kept me sane, the one thing that kept me from crying. I exhaled longer than the inhale as though trying to push the trepidation out of my system. The rhythm of my breathing was disturbed by Gale’s entrance, his face changing from one extreme to the other as his eyes fell upon me, right now I didn’t need the pity I just needed comfort

“Are you okay, Peety?” his voice filled with concern evident by the nickname he only used in serious situations. My throat dried as the realisation dawned on me; I would have to come out to one more person if I even wanted to explain what happened

“Gale, I’ve got something to tell you?”

“What is it? Peety, you can tell me anything.” I looked at him, eye to eye pouring the emotion into my words.

“I’m gay Gale, I’m gay.” His face became a grotesque image of rejection to the terrifying stare of a puppy. He fled the room, not another single word exchanged between us. I waited foolishly for the door to open again, the minutes ticking by until the clock struck the hour. _This is fucking great,_ I sobbed for the countless time in 24 hours, surprised that my body could produce this much despair. I couldn’t handle the isolation anymore, the self-corrupting wallowing. I gathered his jacket and crossed the hall, my knocks met with no response. He must be with Clove. I put on some proper clothes and left the boys dorm. The landing felt unusually long, my feet dragging I stopped outside of her door, the one next to Glimmers that was decorated with a consortium of clashing colours, my knock stilled the room behind the thin door.

Cato stood there, I didn’t feel guilty as I checked his face, and it was perfectly chiselled. He stretched out his hand as I handed him his jacket, he guided me into the room instead. Clove was sitting on her bunk; the room was identical to our own except for her own personal touches, her expensive looking laptop and speaker system. She didn’t share a room with anyone so the surplus bunks were used as what seemed like a clothing explosion

“What do you think of my bed-robe?” she giggled at my bulging eyes.

“Nice.”

“So do you want to talk about anything?” she prodded gently, the small push spiralling me back into disarray. I ran over to her thrusting my head in her lap and wept continuously, she stroked my hair and a hand was placed onto my back it was firm and unwound all the pain that bottled inside me, I peered out of my requiem to see Cato look longingly at me not in lust but lovingly as though he actually cared, the complete opposite of my impression a few days ago.

Finally, I compiled my courage piping up “There were 3 of them.”

“What?” they said in unison.

“There were 3 of them, that night,” they hung on my every word encouraging me to elaborate “the first two worked together, I didn’t know who they were; they did something to their voices. They were artificial...changed. They tied me, it hurt, I couldn’t scream, I coul-I couldn’t do anything. They told me to suck they grunted, an-and then they started touching me. I felt, no I still feel disgusting,” I scrunched my hair into my hands, Cato grabbed me tracing feather light touches along where the bonds sat across my wrists “they told me to suck, swallow. It still hurts, Clove. It still hurts.”

“Shhhh, shhhh Peeta you can stop if you want to.” Her hand pushing my hair from my face.

“No, I want to do this.”

“Peeta, how do you know it wasn’t the same person,” I’d never heard Cato so sincere.

“They were different sizes,” my subtle hint causing them to grimace “and then they left. But someone else came in, before you Cato. I could hear them, I could hear the rubbing, and I could feel all of it. It landed on me and he gave me this,” I pulled my collar down exposing the hickey “I just lay there. What could I do? I was tired, my jaw hurt. I was spent. I felt the pressure and allowed it. He marked me. I’m practically his, aren’t I?”

“NO, NEVER!!” Cato barked, making me recoil at the sudden change in tone.

“Cato, calm it” Clove warned albeit half heartedly. Then Cato picked me up, pulling me into an embrace, Clove completing the encirclement behind me. My muscles loosened, I found solace in the most unusual of places, I was swallowed by the muscular and female figure, I buried my face in the crook of his neck his natural scent like a pain-killer. I huffed as the hug stopped, they stood up perfectly synchronised “Come on we’re taking you somewhere.”

“Where?”

“You’ll find out,” Clove chimed in delightedly.


	14. Building step by step

**Cato P.O.V**

As soon as he knocked I knew it was Peeta. His fist against the door was gentle yet loud enough to be heard. I was glad he came to see me and Clove, we were worried about him. I was scared for him, the feeling of being abused it was fucking scary, I’d felt it and cried more than I’d like to share. I swear to whoever’s listening I’m going to hunt down and kill the bastards that did this. You heard me?! I’ve had enough of bitches ruining my life just because I’m gay, so fucking what!! It isn’t your fucking problem so don’t take it out on the people who were brave enough to come out.

Peeta went to hand me my jacket but I didn’t want to take it, I could see last night he felt like it kept him safe and to be honest even though he was putting up a front I knew he needed it more than me. I showed him inside, it was painful watching him, it was like looking at a younger version of myself. Broken. Fragile. Resentful of the world, thinking that they made me like this. I was thankful that Clove asked the fated question about what happened last night; I couldn’t make him cry again. The mistake of saying ’fag’ to him, still resonated with me. It was a bitter pill to swallow, a mistake that I hoped I could erase. I clenched my other wrist hoping to at least match the pain that I caused.

I listened intently to what Peeta had to say, each word was punctuated by his broken sobs. The point was even harder to cope with when he mentioned that there were 3 of them, that there were sick people in the dorms who would do this to a person and when he said they made him swallow, I started to heave silently. The thought of tarnishing someone so pure, I could see his innocence crumble away as he wept. The fact that people stripped someone of their own self-respect for the excuse of pleasuring themselves; it did more than just fucking disgusting me.

“Peeta, how do you know it wasn’t the same person,” I poured as much sincerity as I could into those words. I didn’t want to ask, I didn’t even want to know the answer. He said different sizes, different sizes. I can’t do this anymore, for fuck sake. Why are there so many shitty people in this world? I placed my head in my hands, propping them up with my elbows on my knees, every passing second making the dam in my eyes crack that little bit more. I was broken out of my reverie by Peeta’s last question ‘I’m practically his, aren’t I?’

My despair turned into rage “NO, NEVER!!” were the only words I managed to force in between rapid short puffs of breath, Clove’s words only calming me slightly, I wanted to say so much more. That he was special, pure, the only one who owned himself. He was his own person, I wanted to say all this and more but I’ve never been good at articulating in such sensitive moments. I needed to comfort him, to take his pain, his hurt, his everything and share the load. I picked him up and pulled him to me, hoping that everything I wanted to say was conveyed. I felt Peeta’s head rest in the crook of my neck; the muscles in his body slowly unwind.

“Come on we’re taking you somewhere.” He needed to get rid of his anger, he might not know that he’s angry but I do. From first-hand experience I know that if you keep this pent up frustration inside any longer, you’ll be swallowed by it. And trust me that’s a shit storm you want to avoid. I extended my hand, not wanting to force his hand into mine after what just happened. He looked at me; I could see him visibly shake,

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he nodded letting my hand fall to my side, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little bit sad, to see distrust in someone who once had fight. Fuck...just fuck.

~xXx~

I led the way down the main staircase with Peeta then Clove in tow, the lift was in the bowels of the wooden steps; it was pretty hidden away presumably, so the regular Icarus students couldn’t access it. The lift was quite big with glass panels allowing a panoramic view of the underground facility. It was modern and about the same size as the family estate home, there was a big area in the centre littered with weights and wrestling mats. Weapons were stored in cases to the side, even with a glance I could tell which ones were practice and real. The sheen and craftsmanship gave it away; the look alone gave an impression of the weight, the potential to kill. I scanned the room a bit more noticing it was more of a hub for the other facilities like a high tech real time fighting simulator, archery range and obstacle courses just to name a few.

I glanced over my shoulder, ever since _it_ happened I’ve started to notice the way he holds himself, his little quirks, the way he cracks his knuckles when he’s nervous. It was sad and cute, how drastic he’d been affected and how everything was new to him. Hopefully, enough to overshadow the bad. The amount of firsts that hadn’t happened to him, holding a weapon, surviving on your own...the surreal moment of accepting his sexuality and stealing a first kiss. I grimaced internally. What the fuck, get your priorities straight Cato!!

“Cato are you ok?” his voice was soft, his blue eyes scrunched in worry. I stared at him momentarily and turned my head to stare at the oncoming floor,

“Yeah, I’m fine,” that’s a lie, I was anything but fine. I was slowly becoming more and more intrigued by him, the way he looked at me. He wasn’t as strong as before but he wasn’t scared as well. I could feel the blush colour my cheeks, my eyes focusing on the reflection in the pane of the glass. My eyes met Cloves who was sniggering and smiling in the corner “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing...it just feels a bit hot in here,” she couldn’t contain it anymore, here laugh spilled out into the air, it was unusually girly for someone so fierce but it was also refreshing. Although, I did squirm under the tension. I counted my blessings when the lift stopped, sighing at the slight draft as the suctioned doors slid open with an electronic whoosh. It was welcomed against my warm skin.

“Why are we here?” he spoke up, the shake coming back to his hands with the oncoming fear.

“Training,” he looked at me perplexed “so you can protect yourself if something ever happens again.” I could hear his breath pick up in frequency and intensity,

“Do y-you think...do you think it will happen again?” tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

“Truthfully,” I reached my hand out to his cheek waiting for his permission, he bowed his head allowing me to wipe his tears with my finger, “I don’t know whether it’s going to happen again. But I do know one thing...”

“What?” his voice was barely audible

“I promise I’ll be there to protect you.”

“But you can’ alwa-“

“I know I can’t always be there and that’s why we brought you here. To teach you to protect yourself, to give those bastards what they deserve. A big ol’ can of ass kicking.”

He giggled “I don’t know Cato.”

“Come on I promise it won’t be that hard. I’ve been where you are, scared, paranoid...hating myself, blaming myself for what happened. Guess what...it’s not your fault its there’s. Listen, I’m here for you,” I bent down looking into his eyes, holding my hands out until he grabbed them reluctantly “do you trust me?”

He opened and closed his mouth, letting the silence fill the void “Ye-Yes I trust you.”

I smiled the biggest smile I’ve had in a while. It had no ulterior motive just unbridled happiness that made my heart pound.

“Then come on,” I stood up letting go of his hand and turning towards the mats and weights until my hand was grabbed again. I looked back at Peeta, his head facing the floor, he whispered,

“A little longer,” I squeezed in acceptance.

“Ok.”


	15. Fights and Flights of Fancy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to johnlockandthorki for beta reading this!!! Sorry for such a long delay!!

**Peeta P.O.V**

His hand was so big compared to mine.  I’d come to notice how small I was compared to Cato. He was significantly taller and stockier, definitely a man whereas I looked like I was still on the cusp of puberty. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t find it intimidating, comforting more than anything. I felt like the hand that clutched mine could lead me anywhere, into Hell and back and yet I’d still follow.

I looked back towards Clove, searching for an answer anything really to justify and explain this feeling but I was met with eyes that provided warmth. Well I don’t really care what it was; it’s what I desperately needed. Solace.

“Peeta, can you let go for a second?” I still couldn’t get used to this sincerity; these were the best people I’d ever met. First impressions and all, I guess one trait was passed down from father to son after all ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’; ‘look past the exterior’ it was a good lesson after all. Thanks Dad it let me get to know people like this. He asked again,

“Oh, sorry,” I was still yearning for that security but forcing the smile.

“Thanks,” he wandered over to the weights, scouring the three rows until he picked up a medium sized dumbbell, it looked weightless in his hand, his middle and index finger acting like springs rolling it from his palm to his fingertips. “Here this one should do.”

“Ok,” I took the weight, the leathery grip raw and harsh against my skin. It reminded me of the miners hands back home, calloused and firm from the manual labour. But it was light, not enough that the density didn’t register, just light. I looked at Cato.

“I didn’t expect Peeta, to have such strength,” his face and gestures became flamboyant to punctuate his shock. I giggled and he smiled back, “guess we’ll have to go up a few steps.”

“Not too many though, I’m not that much stronger.” He chose a dumbbell a few weights down; it was substantially bigger but still well below the massive weights that occupied the lower rack.

“Try this,” he handed it carefully to me, making sure he didn’t drop the heavier weight suddenly in my hands. It was just right as I curled it in each arm, the muscles in my arms contracting and extending with average effort. It was only for a couple of reps, more of a judgement of strength than a fully fledged exercise. We wandered over to the mats and I followed his cues, stretching the muscles and generally warming up.

Clove chimed in from the side “I’m going to go now. I’ll see you later; don’t forget to get something to eat later.”

Cato and I answered in unison “Ok.” We waited for the ping of the elevator and waved to Clove as she shot into the light filled shaft from the ceiling. I turned back to Cato.

“Have you ever done martial arts before?” he asked whilst picking up two small red pads that fitted onto his hands like gloves.

“No, the situation never really called for it,” I did that nervous quirk again. It was a mixture of cracking knuckles and scratching the back of my neck.

“I’ll start out easy then. Which one is your dominant hand?”

I flexed my right hand, stretching my fingers and then letting them return to a fist.

“Ok, left hand is one and right hand is two. You got that?” he took it slow and explained everything clearly; it was obvious to me that he’d gone through these motions before. I nodded in reply.

“Just punch to the opposite pad when I say,” he spread his legs, his back foot pointing outwards and his front foot pointed towards me. He pulled his elbows in and put his hands in front of his face, I mirrored his actions anchoring myself and focusing on nothing but the hands before me.

“1, 2,” he barked orders, gradually getting quicker until every punch became heavy with constant exertion. He sometimes shouted consecutive 1’s and 2’s or alternated the shots. “Peeta always stay alert, never let your guard down,” he dropped the pads to his side and touched my elbows, “this...this wall is the only thing keeping you from _him_. It’s your last line of defence and it may seem feeble now, but if it ever happens again you’ll thank that it’s there.”

“Yeah,” I looked him in the eyes and I could see that he cared for me, he actually cared. This is the first time in forever that I’ve felt such compassion from a stranger, I was thankful. No, not thankful. Blessed. No word could really describe this feeling of someone being so protective, not just to console but give me the strength to stand back up. Every time I thought back I wanted to just drop to my knees, give up...end it all...but now I felt the slightest bit of hope.

“We’ll do this every week; just make sure you stay near me for now. I’ve got a couple more things to teach you before we leave.”

“What else?” I looked at him quizzically curious.

“I’ve got one kick and a throw. I got the idea from you lifting the weights and I can gather that you don’t want anyone being close to you right now.”

“Is it still that obvious,” I grabbed my bicep, my right forearm making a wall across my chest.

“No you’re hiding it quite well,” his voice dropped to a whisper “I just find it easier to notice the signs.” He turned his back towards me, I caught a glimpse of his eyes and the light seemed to disappear momentarily as he threw the pads to the side. “Anyway the kick and the throw,” he threw up his guard. I followed. “We’ll do the kick first.”

“Yeah,” I know he didn’t expect a reply, but I thought it was common courtesy to at least show I was paying attention.

“Ok this is a back kick, it’s fairly quick and powerful but it’s more for gaining distance in case you feel they’re getting too close,” he spun on his front foot so his back faced me, peering over his shoulder and launched his back leg towards me, the power alone from the kick causing a small wind to brush my face. “Okay, now you try.”

It looked fairly easy, I had a knack for the finer details like to pivot the foot, rotate and shorten the distance to maximise impact. It was the sudden change in the centre of gravity that got to me; my balance wasn’t exactly the best in the world. I mean a slap from Helen managed to put me on my ass so if that doesn’t speak for itself, then I don’t know what does. It’s funny I’d completely forgot about her, my problems at home seem so inconsequential now.  I barely managed to stop myself from face planting the floor, when I felt his hands steady me. One was placed on my chest and the other on my back,

“Thanks,” I stood up, fixing my guard and trying one more time whilst focusing on a spot on the wall to keep my bearings. It was slower but I managed to stay upright.

“Ok it looks like you’ve mostly got it done,” he waved me over to the centre of the mat “next is the throw, it’s a two handed shoulder throw. Do you mind if I touch you?”

“Yeah” It was nice to be in control again.

“Ok, so you’re going to grab them by the hem of their clothes, bend your knees, move in closer and use your and their weight to propel them over your shoulder and on to the mat, you got it?”

“Yeah I guess,” to say I wasn’t exactly confident is an understatement. I followed everything he said verbatim, I grabbed the hem of his shirt and rotated. I felt our combined weight carry him; it reminded me of the sacks of flour at home. It was deceivingly light; as soon as I picked him up I knew that I’d overdone it, especially when his back slammed against the floor with a resounding thud.

“Sorry” was the first word out of my mouth as I bent down on all fours to check he was ok. The next thing I knew my back was met with chilling plastic.

“What did I say?!” he flashed me a Cheshire cat grin. “Don’t let your guard down.” I struggled against his grip, writhing to know result. His hands were just below the bruises in my wrists, even when he has me pinned he’s careful not to hurt me.

“Fine, fine...I won’t let my guard down again,” letting my muscles relax, knowing that the struggle was futile.

“Good” he let go of my arms and in a split second I grabbed his waist and rolled. I was on top of him, my body straddling his abs to try and contain his strength.

“What were you saying about ‘keeping your guard up at all times’?” I let faux confusion lace my voice.

“Right, that’s it,” I could tell he was trying to be serious, but we couldn’t help breaking out into hysterics as we tumbled along the floor. It was hilarious, trying to get the better of each other. I needed this. The laughter. The smiles. I felt liberated, lost within a moment I wish would last for a life time, no matter how much responsibility was unloaded onto my shoulders, no matter how depressing or hard life got...it was all worth for these moments. Joy. Frivolity. A nostalgic carelessness that reminded me I wasn’t technically an adult. This is what I live for now and it was even better when I knew _he_ was right beside me. We stopped finally, I may have won a few battles but he won the war. My legs were trapped between his thighs; I was too tired to fight back my chest heaving with every last giggle.

“You...really put up...a fight,” he leaned forward letting his head fall as though it was a secret to catching his breath. I felt the air tingle my neck ever so slightly as he peered up between a few strands of blonde hair. I stared back, holding eye contact, he really was beautiful. A modern day Adonis. He came closer, not all the way but he edged towards my face. Our eyes drifted from the others and to the lips, they were plump and red. I could just imagine how soft they were, how much love would pour out of them. He was closer. 70%...80%...90%...95%, I didn’t want to imagine anymore! 

I closed the distance. We locked like jigsaw pieces that fit snugly, no purposefully. I yearned for it. It was tender but hard, romantic but dominating. I could feel him fight between fighter and lover, between passion and dominating me. I wanted him to make me his, to take everything, leave me bare and strip me back to who I hid all that time ago. The best way I can describe it is like, cinnamon and apples, a warmth incomprehensible and only understood through experience yet it felt shocking like a breeze. It reminded me of running through the fields in District 12, everything and more.

It stopped. I wanted more; I wanted to feel it again. Drink from that fountain again. I opened my eyes to come face to face with the man above me. He was silent, his eyes wide with fear as one tear dropped onto my cheek,

“I have to go,” he stormed off, shooting up the elevator before I’d even reached out my hand to hold him again.

“Don’t go. Please, please don’t go!” I ran after him, hitting the elevator button time and time again, in hopes of speeding the process up. I shouted, my voice echoing in the now empty hub “Cato! Cato! I need you!”

 

 

 

 


	16. A Domestic Proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long break, having a stressful time in college lately :(

“Why did I fuckin’ do it?!” I banged my fist against the side of the glass prison. I could hear his cries in the distance, my name haunting as it passed his lips. I tuned it out. I couldn’t, no; I can’t hear what he was saying, his voice was becoming muffled by the 20 feet between us and my own guilt.

I rested my head on the window pane, the cold, cooling down the cogs of frustration and self-hate that continued to whir in my head, “I took advantage him,” my voice croaked in suppressed anguish “it hasn’t even been two days!”

The tinny ping of the elevator stopping rang through my ears. I composed myself, brushing my hand against my face as though trying to discard the ache that scarred my eyes. I pulled my shoulders back and puffed out my chest, struggling for control over the emotions that threatened to pave my cheeks. The doors opened onto the foyer. I headed straight up the stairs.

The door slammed behind me as I got into his room. My head planted into the pillow, breathing in the slightly sweet smell of the fabric cleaner. It was clean, pure, soft...like him.

“Shit! Fuck! Bitch! Bastard! Fucking Shit!” I shouted into the cotton muffler feeling like the silencer only numbed me, shooting holes in the bond we’d only just created. I couldn’t choke back the sobs any longer; I could feel the pillow become damp as my eyelashes brushed against the pillowcase. No, no you can’t pity yourself. I sat up. I exhaled hoping to get rid of the negativity. I crossed the hall, knocking on the door but getting no reply. My hand pushed the brass handle; I felt the need to say something even though it was my won room,

“I’m coming in,” it looked how we left it. My sheets were crumpled and the curtains were closed. I peered around the door, but it was empty. I fixed the sheets and opened the curtains. I leant over the desk opening the window, it felt stuffy and uncomfortable. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a sliver of paper tucked neatly under doorframe.  I grabbed it, reading the writing scrawled in black ink,

_“Moving in with Katniss, don’t expect me to be back anytime soon. All this time you never told me, who do you think you are? I thought Katniss and I were your closest friends ever. I mean did you forget what they did to your kind back in 12? Did you forget Peeta? I need some time to wrap my head around this._

_Goodbye Peeta,_

_Gale”_

I put it down on the crème coloured desk that seemed to fill an empty space in every room. It was indescribable, this feeling of sheer rage, ‘who does Peeta think he is?’ Peeta? Does this guy know the pain we feel every day? The trust that a person must have to confide in someone about your sexuality, it’s unparalleled. I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum, Clove was a saving grace but others stabbed me in the back when I was vulnerable. I can still feel their words carved into my bones, it’s painfully provoking, it pushed me past the limits I had set over time. I wasn’t going to be dragged down by this perpetual paranoia, but I knew the initial despair. I ran back to the other room and scoured the closet, grabbing Peeta’s clothes and hanging them over my shoulder; I grabbed two pairs of shoes in between my fingers and meandered over to the door. I barely managed it, pressing my elbow on the handle until it swung open.

I piled his stuff onto my bed, pulling a coat hook out of the closet and draping his tops and trousers over every hanger. I stopped, balancing myself on the edge of the bed; I switched between pacing and sitting until he arrived. There were a few gentle raps on the thin wooden panel. His voice was soft almost fearful,

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” I stood up letting the butterflies awaken in my stomach.

“I...I”

“I’m so sorry,” I said “I didn-“my speech was cut by the lips that locked onto mine.

“You’re so stupid sometimes Cato” I went to open my mouth, but the words were hushed by a finger placed to my lips “just let me finish.” I couldn’t help but smile. Little Peeta had finally grown some backbone, “I like you Cato, you’re the first boyfriend I’ve ever had, the first relationship I’ve ever taken remotely serious. So, forgive me if I’m difficult at times. I don’t know how to act, not just because of what happened...it’s just there isn’t exactly a guide on dealing with certain situations including ‘Proper Etiquette for a gay relationship.”

“You don’t have to prefix it with gay, Peeta,” I grabbed his hand, rubbing my thumb on the slightly pale skin “relationships are labyrinths...mazes, you may think that people have ‘games’ or ‘systems’ but we are all just tripping over ourselves in the dark to try and get to the centre. To get to the most inner part of the person we like the most. It’s a journey that can be endeavoured alone but also shared. The highs, the lows and all the in-betweens.”

 He giggled “I didn’t know I was dating a philosopher?!”

“Oh, so we’re dating now?” I looked down at him expectantly,

“I-I guess” he went to rub the back of his neck but stopped himself, placing his arm on my shoulder instead “yeah, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Good,” I kissed him soft and quick “because I was hoping you’d move in the room with me and Marvel. I know he will be there but I’ll be there as well. What do you think?” He hesitated for a split second and I pleaded for even longer, _say yes Peeta_.

“Yes, that’d be nice.” He smiled and hugged me, it wasn’t tainted just pleasant. We put his stuff in the closet and tidied up the bedroom. I was fixing the sheets when I’d turned round to find Peeta reading the note from Gale.


	17. Personal Interpretations

**Peeta P.O.V**

I just stood there, that's all I did. The words washed over me and numbed my muscles. There was no reaction, no reflexive punch into the mattress. There was just silence, as though the words lingered, ungrounded in my already distorted reality. I opened the desk draw and placed the note inside. The bed sheets were easy to fix. The looming presence didn’t know what to say but I could feel his apprehension linger on his skin and the tip of his tongue,  
  
"Peeta, Peeta..."  
  
"I'm fine Cato," surprisingly I was. I felt like it should have hurt more. The pain was there, but at the same time it wasn't.  
  
"Fine?! How can you be fine?! Did you read the letter?!"  
  
"Seriously Cato, just drop it. There isn't anything I can do to change his mind."  
  
He reached out his hand letting me slide my fingers in between his. Our palms touched and he pulled me in closer, I could smell the sweat that clung to his skin.  
  
"I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of feeling weak...I don't have any more tears in me," I looked up at him, smiling with all the happiness I could muster, "I'm happy, Cato, I'm really happy. I have you and Clove and even Katniss. I may be sad at Gale, but I know he'll get over it."  
  
"I doubt he's going to get over it anytime soon, that letter seemed pretty heated."  
  
"That wasn't him."  
  
"Ok, now I'm definitely not following."  
  
"Huh, sit down and I'll tell you," the bed creaked slightly under our combined weight "in District 12, there wasn't much room for gays, they were alienated, ostracised because they couldn't marry or have children. The older people in 12 hated them, calling them freeloaders. Even though they worked like everyone else, they couldn't provide workers, which would cause a shortage of people in the future. Allegedly."   
  
"So they blamed problems that haven't even happened yet, on people who really had no impact on what was going to happen. That's fuckin’ messed up."   
  
"You don't need to tell me, it wasn't just disgusting. It was conditioning. I grew up with the same old phrases every day," I splayed my hand out the duvet between us, seeking the warmth of his hand in mine again, "gay and fags were thrown around with disregard."  
  
I could see his throat tighten and his eyes well, the word "fag" was like a ticker to a time bomb, the tension eating away at the countdown to our confrontation. I squeezed his hand and carried on,  
  
"Those words, they fell on deaf ears. The meaning constantly eluded me but we all knew that they were bad. It was trivial when I was younger, I even used them myself, but when I grew up, I started to hate everyone. My feelings festered deeply and I didn't know why. The realisation that I was gay, that I like the people I wasn't supposed to like. I couldn't admit it, I was scared. I'd seen what they did to us, put us in jobs that no one else wanted to do. The extremists would even stone them for what they were."  
  
"I'm sorry." Cato's eyes glanced down, he wrung his hands.  
  
"What are you sorry for? There's nothing to be sorry about! You...you were the one who gave me this smile, don't even think that you make me hurt. I cried the first few nights I was here, my whole body shivered, my stomach somersaulted as though the butterflies only disappeared once I gave into my fear.”

“No, no I do need to apologise,” he turned towards me; I could see the tears fall from his eyes, “I called you a fag. I was angry, hurt and I wanted to see you fight. But instead my mouth ran off with a sword in place of my tongue. I’ve always been a fighter, I’ve always hurt people no matter how much I care for th-“

“I think you’re wrong,” I wiped his tears with my finger, “you’re not a fighter, you’re a guardian. A warrior. A fighter goes to battle for the simple sake of victory, punching and kicking like an animal. But a warrior is brave and courageous, strong and centred. You fight for more than yourself, in your own twisted way ‘fag’ was your way of helping me. At first, I loathed you, then afterwards when I was by myself; I couldn’t let go of your jacket. The very fabric, even the smell brought me comfort, and I knew from then that you were the best person I could wish to ever meet.”

“Thank you.” He leant into my hand that was pressed against his cheek.

“There is no need to thank me...but like you, I will be honest to. I can forgive but never forget what you said to me and maybe that will only come with time.”

“I understand,” remorse laced Cato’s words, “I will prove it you...I will be Lil’ Pee’s warrior.”

“Lil’ Pee?!” the voice chimed in from the ajar door, “seriously Cato?”

“Marvel, get in here now!!” he shot up off the bed.

“Whoa, whoa don’t get your knickers in a twist now,” he smirked, “this is my room as well you know.”

“How long were you there?” I crossed my arms.

“Not long Lil’ Pee,” the smirk became a full smile.

“That’s Peeta to you,” Cato seemed oddly protective.

“Ok, ok. Anyway, I only came up here to say that food’s ready and the Kadus is visiting again.”

“Fine, what’s for dinner?” he stripped off his gym clothes and changed into a black tee and grey jersey’s, my eyes were completely focused on Marvel as he looked him up and down, biting his bottom lip and locking with my eyes as he proceeded to lick it.

“It’s chateaubriand with béarnaise sauce and potatoes, sir” I could feel the last word hang heavy in the air, as though it carried a secret weight between them.

“Really?”

“No, it’s just steak and chips,” the slim boy giggled at his own joke.

“Ugh, Pee do you want to get something to eat?”

“Yeah,” I looked down at the sweat-stained top and shorts, “actually I’ll meet you down there, just need to get changed first.”

“You sure,” his eyes looked suspiciously at Marvel.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“...”, he swayed between staying and leaving before nodding and heading out the door. I grabbed some of the clothes that lay on the bed, strolling past Marvel and straight into the bathroom. I washed my face and got changed, only exiting a minute later. I was heading for the door, when he stopped me in my tracks,

“Fag, huh? That must really suck! I mean...knowing he said that and falling head over heels for him, even you must find it hard to swallow?!”

I didn’t gratify him with a response, the very fact he was speaking to me sent shivers down my spine. I walked as quickly as I could out the room, leaning against the wall once I was out of seeing distance.

I continued walking, stopping when I opened the canteen doors. I walked into the judgemental and wary stares of Gale and Katniss, followed by the indifference of Anna and Finnick. Finally, my eyes met Clove and Cato. She snickered, hiding her laughter and chewing, with the back of her hand as though scared the food would fly out of her mouth. He just sat there, his usually cool exterior marred by the loud scarlet blush on his cheeks; I looked to my right catching my reflection in the reflective ‘Buffet’ sign.

I was wearing Cato’s baggy tartan shirt with my black slacks, my hair dishevelled from the quick change. I started to break into a cold sweat. What must this look like? Only two words escaped my mouth,

“Oh shit!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to ask me some questions or see more of what I'm into follow me on karacters-and-kinks.tumblr.com


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